The courage to start. Again.

Still not running, but this evening I found myself a pound away from my weight from my running days. I know it's not the numbers that matter, but it was disheartening to see I'd gained weight again. But I'm back down again and even my mom is telling me I look smaller.

I think maybe it’s because I’m working now and don’t eat as much? Honestly, I still stress-binge like a motherfucker. I might be able to attribute it to the diet root beer I’ve been drinking. Sure, the Splenda will probably kill me in the end, but at least they won’t need a forklift to get me into my coffin.

At any rate, I’ve lost weight and I intend to run with it. Literally. I’m not going to start up again until I’ve gotten in a good week of aerobic and strength training, and I also need to get that new pair of running shoes.

I just want to get out there and run right now, mostly because IT STOPPED RAINING.

ETA: I forgot to mention the hockey. I know, it's not a hockey blog.

Last weekend, I dragged my sister to the Golden Skate charity hockey game between the Portland Firefighters Hockey Club and Seattle firefighters (not sure what their club is called). The benefit was for the Down Syndrome Network of Oregon, and it was open seating so my sis and I sat up by the glass. It was awesome, especially since some guy in the seats behind us kept yelling out a line from Slap Shot, which you can here in this video I took:



Sure, he wasn't saying it correctly, but it was still awesome. Slap Shot quotes at a hockey game. Life is good.

P.S. Portland won, 8-1. And there was a fight.

Change.

We just made history. I don't even know what to say.

The Fourth of November

I hope you all voted today. I wish I was at a bar right now, drinking root beer and watching the elections with everybody else, but noooooooo. I have to go to work. How the hell can I concentrate when something this important is going on??

Well, anyway. No matter who you support, I really hope you went out and cast your vote.

If it turns out the way I hope, maybe we can make this country great again.

Fever.

I usually get home from work at around 5:10 a.m. Driving through the city in the wee hours of morning, I've been amazed at how many people I see jogging. They inspire me. There's nothing stopping me from running again (aside from untreated ADD); I get up at 2 p.m. and leave for work at 8:30 p.m. Plenty of time to exercise/run every day.

Soon. Very soon. I need to build up some strength first and then ease back into it. I hate to start all over at Week 1 again, but if I have to, I will. As long as I start moving again, things will be fine. I need to run again. First things first, new running shoes.

In the streets on Halloween, there's something going on.

I speak in answers only to see them in my mind.

Just stopping in to say I'm still not running. BUT. I am slowly settling in at work. I'm still confused as hell most of the time, but I'm not quite so overwhelmed. Depending on how busy we are, I usually get home around 5 a.m. I fart around until 7:00 and then feed the animals. By then, it's starting to get light out. While they're all chowing down, I go and get ready for bed. Then I take the dogs out to potty one last time and hit the hay. I wake up anytime between noon and 2:00. Let the dogs out, wash my face, have some breakfast, run errands. I've been running errands like crazy lately. It kind of drives me nuts because I'm sick of being in the goddamn car all the time. But my sister is still in Chicago and there's no one here but me to take care of things. Yesterday I went to the post office to overnight her a package and ended up tearing off half my fingernail with the P.O.'s big tape dispenser thingy. So I'm standing there in line with blood dripping off my finger. It was pretty heinous. I wrapped it in my sweatshirt because I didn't have any tissue. Have you ever ripped off a fingernail or toenail? It's pretty fucking painful. And I had to go to work that night and enter shit into a computer for seven hours.

But I digress. This is my third week at my new job. My benefits kick in next month, which means I'll be able to see a doctor for the first time in five years. And I can go to the dentist. And see my therapist on a regular basis. That reminds me, I've got to finish filling out this paperwork and send it to Dr. ADHD so I can get my brain fixed. I'm getting my hair cut on Thursday and Friday I'm seeing Not!Mia (my therapist). Hopefully, my sister will be home this Saturday. Once she gets back, I won't have to worry so much. Plus, I miss her.

Anyway, my point is, things aren't feeling quite as hopeless anymore. Once I get settled at work, I'll be able to focus on my home life and get back to regular workouts and, more importantly, RUNNING. I took the boys up to my mom's for dinner on Sunday and when I drove past the track on the way there, I got really, really upset. I had my shit together and it all went to hell. I don't feel strong anymore. I've been so stressed out lately, and I know that running has always made me feel better and put things into perspective. I stuck with it for over a year. That's a big deal for me. To have not run in so long really bothers me. I miss writing about my runs three times a week.

Well, I'm going to go hang out with my dogs and read Slap Shot Original for a little while. Oh! And also fill out my ballot!

DON'T FORGET TO VOTE, PEOPLE.

New blog.

Just a short note to let interested parties know I’ve started the Curly Joe blog, which can be read here. I don’t have a lot of time for updates right now, but LaShea and I at least got things started. It is my intention to post regular updates on Curly Joe's health and well being. Good days, bad days, so-so days. It's all part of the adventure. If you want to be updated on how he's doing, go to his page and click on "Follow." I won't be posting anymore Curly-related updates on my running blog.