Week 2, Day 14

It snowed in the Gorge last night. Snow level was 2,000 feet, so we were still good up here (at 1,000), but it was FREEZE FREEZE FREEZE on the news. I went out with Tank at around midnight last night (I like peeing in the yard with my dog. Don’t judge.) and it was nothing but fog and a waxing moon. It was beautiful. I chased Tank around the yard and up the road a bit. For some reason, he gets really frisky when I take him outside around a full moon.

Anyway, going by the news last night, I didn’t have much hope for the weather today, but I forgot that Oregonians are pussies when it comes to weather. There was barely two inches of snow on the roads and the news interviewed three people who had pulled into gas stations to wait it out.

I can’t tell you how many times I drove my Gramma to bingo in the middle of a (Chicago) blizzard. I went to class when it was 80 below with the windchill. That’s one of the big things that annoys me about living here. It’s precipitation, people. Deal with it.

Anyway, Mom and I took Pignacious (her guinea pig) to the vet this morning because he’s not improving. Turns out the mass in his belly has doubled in size. The doctor says it can only be a cancerous tumor, which is very rare in a cavy so young (he’s a little over a year old). She said we could do surgery, but she doesn’t have much hope in the outcome. So we took him home and I’ll keep giving him vitamin C and Critical Care food. He’s not doing well, though, and we’ll probably end up taking him back in this weekend or so. I’m going to miss him like crazy, but we can’t let him suffer. I’d never had (or liked) a guinea pig before, but I love this little guy. He’s a two pound lump of attitude.

When we got back home, I ate a banana, then did my 20 minutes of aerobic and my ab workout, and then headed down to the track before it started to rain. You just never know around here. It was (is) 45°, sunny, just a bit of wind. Perfect. The wind was a bit chilly during the warm up, but once I got going, I was pretty comfortable.

Running wasn’t all that bad, at least not as agonizing as I’d feared it would be after such a long break. I had been worried I’d have to demote myself back to Week 1. Not so! I started out really well; my recovery time was really quick, though not so much by the fifth and sixth runs. My legs were in pretty good shape, too, though for some reason my lower back ached the entire time. I chalked it up to being a week and a half out of practice.

I really didn’t feel it when I started running today. It felt like a chore. What really helped was affirmations. I know how hokey and cheesy and lame that sounds. I still feel kind of silly typing it up, but it’s one of the things I’m working on in therapy. My therapist (well, she’s a counselor, but whatever) is big on cognitive therapy, and one of the last times I was there, she gave me papers on affirmations and how to change from negative self-talk to positive thinking. I have a really big problem with negative self-talk, and it’s become apparent to me that this has been a lifelong problem.

One of the papers she gave me said:

Affirmations are based on TWO concepts of change:

1. An individual has the personal power to create her/his desires, hopes and dreams.
2. Life is an opportunity to grow.

So I’ve been working on that. Just repeating little things in my head every day. I won’t mention them here because, well, they’re private, but they’re in my head and I’m working on giving them power over my negative thoughts. So while I was running today, feeling sad about Pignacious and slightly aggravated about killing myself on the track, I kept my mind focused on affirmations. I kept thinking about how much I hate where I am now in my life and how badly I want to change it. And I am changing it. That’s what kept me going on the track.

So that helped. Yay, therapy!

Incidentally, I started the Couch to 5k program three months ago, and I’m still on Week 2. And I don’t feel bad about that. I’m not a professional athlete. I’m running to get in shape, not because I am in shape.

Oh and this Last Resort Bra? Best thing EVER. It worked so well. I’m so happy with it. Totally worth $60.

I'll end this with something my therapist told me last week: A future possibility that has not happened and may not happen and is hurting the present.

Inspiration

I was just reading some of my older entries and was inspired to work out. I was going to anyway, but I hadn't planned on doing it until later this afternoon, since I have to take the guinea pig to the vet.

However, reading how well I did this summer and the results I've gotten from taking care of myself, I didn't want to put it off. I did the full 20 minutes of aerobic (instead of cheating and just doing the warm up) and weight training. That's right, I'm bad!

I got my hair chopped off this weekend. I really liked having long hair again, but it was annoying me. The ends were really split, so I went in and just had all the bad stuff chopped off. A friend of mine is a hair dresser, and she does conditioner-only herself, so she was fine with not using any shampoo, conditioner or product on my hair when she cut it. I had done the BS/vinegar wash that morning, so all she did was wet my hair and get to work. I went from this to this, and I love it. I know I look miserable in the pictures, but I was using my Mac’s Photo Booth program and when you click on the button to take the picture, it has a three second countdown. So that’s what I was looking at. Also, this is what my hair looks like (pre-cut) after three months no ‘poo. Niiiice.

I had a point here. What was it?

Oh, right. Before, I would put my hair up in an octopus clip, but now I don't have enough hair for it to hold. I had to go out and buy a scrunchy to keep the hair out of my face when I workout. I also bought my very first shower cap yesterday. It's pink with polka dots. I'm old!

Anyway. Change is good. This haircut really gave me a boost.

Time to put that shower cap to use!

Running tomorrow! Can't wait!

Getting there.

So, as you can tell, I haven't run for a very long time. However, I am absolutely positive that I'm going to get back out there on Tuesday. It's going to be in the upper 40's with no rain, so yay! I leave for Florida in a little under two weeks, and I know that running helps reduce my anxiety and helps me sleep at night, so even though I may have to take a break while I'm in Florida, I still want to get in as many runs as I can before I leave.

Can't wait!

My exploded spelling rib

Yesterday morning, I turned to take Pignacious out of his cage to give him his daily meds and something went *blump* in my left side, in back under the ribs. I couldn't breathe for a few seconds and then the pain set in. I'm not entirely sure what happened, possibly I pulled a muscle or popped a rib. Afterwards, I had a lot of trouble remember how to spell certain words, so some of the folks at the PPK said that I exploded my spelling rib. Even though it hurts to do so, laughing helps.

I iced my side for 20 minutes and then spent most of the rest of the day with a hot water bottle. The week and a half prior to this, I hadn't exercised or ran at all because I've been sick. Yesterday was going to be my first day back to working out, and I had to go and injure myself picking up a two pound guinea pig.

So, between illness, inclement weather and guinea pig-related injuries, I don't know if I'll ever run again.

Today my side feels a lot better, though some pain remains (for some reason) in my left shoulder/side of my neck. I really wanted to work out today, but knew I should in no way push myself if I didn't feel 100% better. I'm hoping to start up my runs again on Thursday. Fingers crossed I won't have to start all over at Week 1. Though I guess the bright side is, at least I wasn't eight weeks into my training when this happened.

My sister bought this book today called Walking Your Blues Away: How to Heal the Mind and Create Emotional Well-Being, by the incredible, wonderful, kick ass Thom Hartmann. I’m thinking I might pick myself up a copy to bring with to Florida. I leave on December 8th and return on January 11th.

I do plan on bringing my workout tape with me (Mom only has a VCR) so even if I don’t run, I’ll still be getting exercise. I guess I’ll just use canned vegetables for hand weights.

More salt on the wound? I got my Last Resort Bra last week and have been unable to take it out for a test run (pun intended).

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH HUMBUG.

Foghorn leghorn

I’ve been up since 7:45 waiting for the fog to lift so I can go running. It retreats, then it rolls in again. Retreats, rolls in again. I’m not sure if it’s like this in town or just up here on the mountain, but I have to go pick up Freddie’s thyroid meds, plus drive my mom to her Thursday Thing, go back to the library (forgot to return a movie) and then therapy. I suppose I can run tomorrow, but it’s supposed to rain.

I really need to get my sister's treadmill up here. I’m starting to think it’s the only way I can keep up with my runs, and I’m loathe to do that because I love being outdoors.

FRUSTRATED.

Week 2, Day 13

Yeah, yeah, I know. Another week of Week 2. After taking a “sick week” last week, I can’t very well just jump right into Week 3, now can I?

I had two flax waffles for breakfast along with a cup of enriched soy milk. Then (well, a half hour later) I did 20 minutes of aerobics and my ab workout. About ten minutes before I ran, I ate an apple. I want to pick up some almond butter so I can make that Shazzie choco-nut spread that I love so very very much. I started out spreading it on bananas, but I absolutely love it on sliced apples. Somehow, it reminds me of taffy apples and taffy apples make me think of Autumn and childhood and my grade school’s annual book fair. Those were the best times. I’ve always been about the books. My mom still jokes to people that ”since they were little, my girls have read four books at once: two in each hand, one propped up on the table and one in their laps.”

But I digress. The weather was absolutely perfect for running. 44° and sunny with just a bit of a breeze coming in from the south. I wore a hoodie over my tank top and by the second run I had taken it off and tossed it in the grass by the fence. I feel like my skin is getting ready to hibernate and I have to store up as much sunlight as I can. It starts getting dark here at around 4:30, so I have to plan my runs carefully. Not so early that my lungs freeze up, but not so late that I need a gorram flashlight to find my way around the track.

The run itself went pretty well. My calves didn’t hurt all that much, which I attribute to my working out before I went to the track. Christie mentioned a while back that she thought my sore calf problem might be helped by getting a good pair of running shoes. I do plan on going to an actual running “store” sometime in the future so I can get the proper shoes, but right now I can’t afford it. As it is, the running shoes I have now are actually the best pair of gym shoes I've owned in ... probably ever. Thank you, Nordstrom, for your mixed-size shoe policy!!!

So today my calves weren’t so bad.

By the fourth run, I was really out of breath and realized I was pushing myself too hard. Once I slowed down, I did much better.

I’m so glad to literally be back on track!

I’m leaving for Florida in about a month, and I don’t know what I’ll do about exercise. The front room in my mom’s condo is big enough for me to do aerobics and strength training, but not only does she not have a DVD player (for my aerobics DVD), but her front room is currently housing a bunch of boxes she had shipped in from our old house in Chicago. So I’m not sure where or how I’m going to be working out for those six weeks. I’m not even sure if I’m going to run. There’s a nice park nearby, but I’m leary of running alone in a neighborhood full of lunatics. Okay, it’s not that bad, but still. I need to make a list of everything I have to bring with (VWaV, VCToTW, V-com). Oh, and I should probably buy a suitcase. Goodwill, here I come! (My mom says, ”Don’t get a suitcase from Goodwill. Somebody probably peed in it.”)