In the streets on Halloween, there's something going on.

I speak in answers only to see them in my mind.

Just stopping in to say I'm still not running. BUT. I am slowly settling in at work. I'm still confused as hell most of the time, but I'm not quite so overwhelmed. Depending on how busy we are, I usually get home around 5 a.m. I fart around until 7:00 and then feed the animals. By then, it's starting to get light out. While they're all chowing down, I go and get ready for bed. Then I take the dogs out to potty one last time and hit the hay. I wake up anytime between noon and 2:00. Let the dogs out, wash my face, have some breakfast, run errands. I've been running errands like crazy lately. It kind of drives me nuts because I'm sick of being in the goddamn car all the time. But my sister is still in Chicago and there's no one here but me to take care of things. Yesterday I went to the post office to overnight her a package and ended up tearing off half my fingernail with the P.O.'s big tape dispenser thingy. So I'm standing there in line with blood dripping off my finger. It was pretty heinous. I wrapped it in my sweatshirt because I didn't have any tissue. Have you ever ripped off a fingernail or toenail? It's pretty fucking painful. And I had to go to work that night and enter shit into a computer for seven hours.

But I digress. This is my third week at my new job. My benefits kick in next month, which means I'll be able to see a doctor for the first time in five years. And I can go to the dentist. And see my therapist on a regular basis. That reminds me, I've got to finish filling out this paperwork and send it to Dr. ADHD so I can get my brain fixed. I'm getting my hair cut on Thursday and Friday I'm seeing Not!Mia (my therapist). Hopefully, my sister will be home this Saturday. Once she gets back, I won't have to worry so much. Plus, I miss her.

Anyway, my point is, things aren't feeling quite as hopeless anymore. Once I get settled at work, I'll be able to focus on my home life and get back to regular workouts and, more importantly, RUNNING. I took the boys up to my mom's for dinner on Sunday and when I drove past the track on the way there, I got really, really upset. I had my shit together and it all went to hell. I don't feel strong anymore. I've been so stressed out lately, and I know that running has always made me feel better and put things into perspective. I stuck with it for over a year. That's a big deal for me. To have not run in so long really bothers me. I miss writing about my runs three times a week.

Well, I'm going to go hang out with my dogs and read Slap Shot Original for a little while. Oh! And also fill out my ballot!

DON'T FORGET TO VOTE, PEOPLE.

New blog.

Just a short note to let interested parties know I’ve started the Curly Joe blog, which can be read here. I don’t have a lot of time for updates right now, but LaShea and I at least got things started. It is my intention to post regular updates on Curly Joe's health and well being. Good days, bad days, so-so days. It's all part of the adventure. If you want to be updated on how he's doing, go to his page and click on "Follow." I won't be posting anymore Curly-related updates on my running blog.

Update.

Still here. Still not running. I thought I’d be able to fit my workouts in before I left for work, but boy was I wrong. I leave at around 8:45 p.m. and get home sometime after 5 a.m. At first I tried going right to bed when I got home, but I’d have to get up at 9:00 to feed the animals because my sister was working. So I’d get very little sleep and when I tried taking a nap in the afternoon, there was way too much going on. Neighbors running chainsaws, cats making noise, Curly Joe had to go out again, etc. So I haven’t been working out. I’ve lost some weight though (2 lbs); I guess being too busy to eat really pays off.

This past week was really incredibly stressful. My sister flew back to Chicago on Friday because she got the call that her mother-in-law was in the end stages of cancer and fading fast. She’d been in a coma for three days and when she woke up, all she did was ask for my sister. I went in to work Thursday night, intending to ask if I could leave early to drive my sister to the airport (which I work near), but when I went in to talk to my supervisor, I was appalled to find myself bawling my eyes out. J isn’t my mother-in-law, and I certainly don’t know her as well as my sister does, but she is a wonderful woman, and I hate that this had to happen to her and her family. My supervisor was incredibly understanding and told me to just head home. I was so grateful. I went home and stayed up with my sister, who was a wreck. I got about 20 minutes of sleep and then got up to drive her to the airport at around 5:30. Dropped her off, came home and stayed up long enough to feed the animals and let the dogs out at 9:00, then went to bed and slept until 6:30.

My sister is staying with her mother-in-law until the end, which the doctors say won’t be too long now. A couple of days more, I guess. J sleeps most of the time, but she woke up a few times and knows my sister is there. I am here alone, taking care of the animals and struggling to adjust to a hectic new job and trying to change into a night person after over 20 years of being a morning person. Saturday, I was so happy to have survived the week, I dropped off three rolls of film, went to the library, checked out some books and sat on a bench in the sun and read for an hour and a half. I was just so grateful to be out in the fresh air and feel the warm sun on my face. Winter is coming and there won’t be many more days like that.

I’ve got Wednesday off this week. I’m going to try and get my hair cut on Thursday (before work) and Friday (before work) I’ve got to take Curly Joe for a recheck with the doctor at NWVS. I work Saturday night, too (which is why I have Wednesday off). I’m kind of worried because I think Curly Joe may have a hernia. My sister says it’s nothing to worry about as long as he’s still pooping, but I’m going to ask the doctor about it on Friday. If he has to have another surgery, so be it, but that might be the end of me. I honestly can’t handle anymore stress.

I brought the dogs up to my mom's this evening to visit while I made dumpling stew. I also did laundry and took a shower. Isn’t that what we’re supposed to do when we grow up? Mooch off our parents?

There is one good thing, though. I got a book in the mail: Slap Shot Original: The Man, The Foil, The Legend, by Dave Hanson. Totally forgot I’d pre-ordered it. I look forward to reading it on my lunch break. Now all we need is a book from the Carlson brothers, and I’ll be happy.

So that’s the news for now. I’m not doing very well these days. Nothing to do but keep on keeping on, right?

Just like anything.

Still here, guys. Still not running. Curly Joe came home a week ago and has recovered remarkably well for a puppy who has been on death’s door twice in the seven months he’s been on this earth. He’s a fighter. If he’s not giving up, neither are we. He hasn’t felt well since last night, but I’m trying not to freak out about it. I’d forgotten to give him his Pepcid two nights in a row, and that might have something to do with it. Not to mention he still has a severe liver problem, and is bound to have off days.

I started a Curly Joe blog with his foster mom; it is for anyone who wants to keep tabs on Curly and how he’s doing, and also so that I don’t clog up my running journal with puppy stuff. Not that the puppy stuff is bad, of course. I just want to try and stay on topic as much as possible. The blog will be made public once we get a few “earlier” entries up.

I weighed myself last night (for the first time in about four months) because I wanted to see if Curly Joe had gained any weight (he had lost two pounds pre-surgery). Curly has gained two pounds. I have gained eight. THE HORROR. I’m not freaking out about it, though. I’m on my period, and I had also just eaten a huge (veggie) meatball sandwich before stepping on the scale. I start my new job tomorrow night, and I know that having a set schedule will help me with eating regular meals. I have been stuffing my face regularly for the past two weeks, from stress and anxiety. My sister bought me a little laptop (bento) lunch box as a gift for getting the new job, and I’m looking forward to coming up with tasty meals to stuff it with. Right now I’m thinking a small salad, some raw red pepper strips, baby carrots, some almonds and raisins. I don’t have much of an imagination when it comes to food. It’ll be strange eating my lunch at midnight, but I guess I’ll get used to it. You know what else I know I’ll get used to? A PAYCHECK. And as soon as my health insurance kicks in next month, I’m making an appointment for a complete physical. I haven’t seen a doctor in six years. That’s bad. After that, I’m heading straight for the dentist. I need to have a wisdom tooth pulled and get a cleaning. I’m toying with the idea of teeth whitening, but I don’t want to look like an actor. I’d just like a shade lighter than what I’ve got going on right now. I want to look healthy, not Hollywood.

In other health-related news, after some careful consideration, I signed up at Jillian Michaels’ website. Of course, I didn’t find out until afterward what a shrew she is about veganism, but that’s fine. I love watching Biggest Loser, and though I know this website isn’t the same as working out for two hours every day with a personal trainer while your whole life is put on hold, I know that having structure works for me. Being able to enter my weight and my workouts and tracking my progress is what keeps me motivated. Here’s a recipe that’s easily veganized:

Dried Figs Stuffed With Almonds & Cream Cheese

Prep Time: 5 mins
Total Time: 5 mins
Makes 4 Servings:
Per Serving: Calories: 154 , Saturated Fat: 1.9 g , Total Fat: 7 g , Carbs: 21 g , Dietary Fiber: 4 g , Protein: 4 g , Cholesterol: 7 mg , Sodium: 73 mg

Ingredients:
1/2 cup(s) figs, dried
1/4 cup(s) cream cheese, reduced-fat Tofutti
1/4 cup(s) nuts, almonds

Instructions: Make a lengthwise slit in each fig, not cutting all the way through. Spread a teaspoon of cream cheese inside each hole, and stuff with one or two almonds. Serve.

Plenty of recipes to choose from/veganize. I have it set up that Wednesdays and Sundays are my rest days. Tomorrow my workout consists of:

Warm Up/Prep: Warm Up
Circuit 1: Jumping Squat (3 sets of 15), Plyo Push-Up (3 sets of 15)
Circuit 2: Military Shoulder Press (3 sets of 15), Sumo Squat (3 sets of 15), Mountain Climbers (3 sets of 1)
Circuit 3: Bench Dip (3 sets of 15), One-Leg Pelvic Thrust (3 sets of 15), Jumping Rope (3 sets of 1)
Circuit 4: Weighted Crunch(3 sets of 15) , Jumping Jacks (3 sets of 1)
Circuit 5: Tricep Kickbacks (3 sets of 15), Russian Twists (3 sets of 15), Jumping Rope (3 sets of 1)
Cool Down: Cool Down

I figure I will just do the elliptical for warm up and cool down. And I think I’ll change the jumping squats to regular ones; I’m not sure my knees could handle that. At any rate, I’m really looking forward to starting this. There’s a weekly checklist you can print out that lists all the exercises and has check boxes so you can mark them off as you complete them. Perfect for me! I'm giving myself some time to settle into my weird work hours and also build up my strength again before picking up where I left off with the Couch-to-5k program.

In addition to having a healthy body, I’m also working on having a healthy mind. I have contacted a doctor about coming in to be evaluated for ADHD (sans H). The trouble is, she has ADHD herself, so it’s hard to pin her down. She e-mailed me some paperwork to print and fill out while I wait for her to send me a packet in the mail. If I am diagnosed, I am comforted to know that in a month I will be able to afford medication. My sister has been doing well on Adderall, though she forgets to eat. I try to make meals and bring them in to her (she does medical transcription from her home office), but after I start my job, she’ll have to fend for herself.

That’s about all I have time for right now, but before I go, ARE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE? Go to Vote for Change to register to vote, register to vote absentee or find your polling location. You can also double check to make sure you’re registered to vote in your state. In this day and age, it’s a good thing to pay attention to.

ETA: I forgot to mention how incredibly happy I am that hockey season is upon us. My Red Wings are off to a good start, and I'm looking forward to seeing how Stamkos does as a Bolt, not to mention Artyukhin. Oh, and Malone and Roberts. I was flipping through the channels the other night and was delighted to find some hockey. The Winter Hawks vs Guelph. I thought it was strange that they kept mentioning Marian Hossa. Eventually I realized this was a Memorial Cup game from ten years ago, before Hossa became a Senator. And now he’s a Red Wing!

Speaking of the Winter Hawks, I dragged my sister to the season opener at the Memorial Coliseum on September 20th. The Spokane Chiefs won 3-0 (the third goal was scored during a five-on-three power play) and with 3:12 left in the third period, one of the Chiefs hit a Hawk. The Hawk took exception to this and shoved the Chief. The Chief shoved back. The Hawk hauled off and popped him right in the face. Then there were helmets and gloves all over the ice and the crowd was roaring. It was beautiful. It went on for quite a while. Not a bench-clearing brawl, but there were three fights going on at once. The goalies stayed out of it. At one point I looked at my sister and she said, “Ok. Fights are fun!” They put two guys from each team in the penalty box (one of them practically had to be dragged) and then the captains spent a few minutes talking to the ref. Eventually, three guys from each team were led off the ice, and there was much cheering.

Depending on my work schedule, the next game I can go to is this Saturday (against Seattle). Sis said she would go to another game with me, and my friend Rene is interested in going, too. The Portland Firefighters Hockey Club are starting up again soon, and I plan on going to a lot of those games. They’ve got a charity game against the Seattle firefighters club in November. I’m really looking forward to that. And here I thought I would only have TV hockey to slate my thirst! I’m still planning on getting my passport so I can go up to Vancouver for a Canucks game, and speaking of which, I would looooooooooooooooove to get tickets to the Winter Games in 2012. And I really hope this shows in Portland. If not, I’m getting the DVD.