Week 2, Day 18

I ran today! Better once this week than none, right? It's 47° out right now, and the sun came out very, very briefly, so (even though I didn't really want to) I hauled my ass to the track. Of course once I got there, it started raining again. Only for a short time, though, which was good. Despite the warm numbers, the wind made it feel like it was in the 30's. I forgot my hat at home, but luckily I remembered my gloves.

Did my warm up lap and as I was stretching at the fence, I heard voices. I didn't have my glasses on, but I could tell it was two guys. I turned and saw them walking two big dogs. A golden and some white fluffy mutt. Aww. I wasn't too thrilled about sharing the track, though. I haven't had any "company" since summer. Apparently I'm the only one who doesn't mind being out there when the temperature drops below 60.

At any rate, this afternoon's run just flew by. I think mostly because I was busy thinking about how annoyed I was. By the fifth run, I was feeling pretty ragged but I realized the guys were playing with their dogs in the field, so I didn't have to worry about running into them. I keep my iPod turned down pretty low, and I could hear some kids shrieking nearby. Can I just tell you how much I hate that? It puts me on edge. You should only scream bloody murder when the situation calls for it. Like, for instance, if you're being murdered. To top it all off, someone was shooting guns off in the hills to the south of the track.

Blehhhhhhhhhh. So it was a good run, even if everything was annoying the hell out of me. The weird thing was, when I was done with my run and put my glasses back on to stretch and change my shoes, the guys with the dogs walked by again and they looked like they spent a lot of time at soup kitchens. I had been expecting sporty outdoorsy kids with REI gear, but they were wearing ratty old jackets and baggy jeans. Not exactly what you'd expect to see on a track. They didn't mug me and leave me for dead though, so whatever.

For breakfast this morning I had --you guessed it-- a smoothie. This time I added two tablespoons of carob. Not that it wasn't good, but I think next time I'll stick with one tablespoon. For lunch I had a huge salad with cucumbers, tomatoes, celery and red peppers and some leftover mashed potatoes and oat gravy. After my run I had a glass of orange juice. For dinner, Mom and I are going to this sandwich shop in town. They've got a hummus plate and several other veggie options. I've never been there before, but if I keep my expectations low, I'm sure I won't be disappointed.

As of right now, Weatherbug tells me this coming Tuesday and Thursday will be in the low-to-mid 40's and sunny. What better way to start out the new year than with a good run?

Bah humbug!

So, I haven’t had a chance to run all week. It’s been snowing, if you can believe it. On Christmas and Thursday, both of which are my running days. Tomorrow it’s supposed to be 45° and rainy, so I’m hoping to at least get one day in. Meantime, I’ve been keeping up with my workouts. I’m still doing the same routine, so I would like to go to some store this weekend and get a new workout DVD. I’m aiming towards Winsor pilates, but there are a billion of them out there, and I’m not sure which one(s) I should start with. (And by the way? The chick they’ve got on their main page? Way too fucking skinny.) This combo looks promising, but the thing I wonder about is this: how good of an upper body workout does pilates give you? The third disc from that set says it’s a total body workout, but I’m skeptical. I guess I can’t imagine getting an upper body workout without weights. I could always get this DVD, but I’d rather have an all-in-one deal. Because I’m lazy.

Anyway. I’ve been patting myself on the back for resisting the temptation to put off this renewed commitment to good health until after the new year. At first I kept thinking, Well, it’s almost January. I can start over then, but then I realized, why wait? I could just keep using New Years as an excuse and keep undoing ten months of hard work, or I could start right now. There’s so much I tell myself I’d accomplish if only I wasn’t so fat and awkward. Well, why not find out how much truth there is to that? What’ll happen if I’m a fit, healthy person? What will my excuse be then? I’m not tall enough? My teeth are crooked? I have E.T. feet?

I find myself increasingly frustrated to feel so good on the inside but not have it show on the outside. There’s a lot of pain, sweat and hard work under this flab, and I want it to show. That’s not going to happen if I keep putting everything on hold until after the new year.

For further inspiration, I got another Title 9 catalog in the mail the other day and I cut some of the women out of it and taped them to my computer. A woman skiiing with her dog, another hiking up a steep path in the forest, and another doing yoga on a dock. That’s inspirational. That and I took a picture of my ass with Photo Booth and it definitely looks smaller.

Whatever works, right?

Since I don’t have any runs to report, I guess I’ll talk about my smoothies. Rather, I’ll post some pictures.


Banana slices, strawberries, blueberries and a couple slices of peach (all frozen).


Tablespoon of ground flax seed.


Berry goodness in a Chicago Improv glass! (Ignore the catnip and the jade plant.)

This morning I added a tablespoon of carob powder to the mix and hooooooly taste buds was it good! I usually reserve the carob powder for Shazzie’s Choco-nut recipe, which I spread on bananas and/or sliced apple. I had no idea carob was so good for you!

”Carob is up to 8% protein and contains vitamins A, B, B2, B3 and D. It is also high in calcium, phosphorus, potassium and magnesium and contains iron, manganese, barium, copper and nickel. However, it should of course only be eaten in moderation alongside a balanced diet.”

And to think I felt guilty adding one little tablespoon to my smoothie. Pfft. So that's about it for now. Oh, and also? I deleted that picture of my ass.

A Festivus for the rest of us.

Week 2, Day 17

Holy crap is it crappy out there! But I did it! I ran three days this week. I RULE.

I spent the night at my sister's last night. We all went to see the late showing of National Treasure 2 and didn't get back until 1 a.m. By then I was too tired to drive, not to mention it was below freezing and I was pretty sure driving up the mountain would have been treacherous. So I crashed on the couch and fell asleep to the flickering warmth of the pellet fire. I don't think I've been that incredibly relaxed in a long, long time.

I got up this morning, fed the animals and then drove to the vet to pick up some k/d for Freddie. I got her two cans of it as well, for a christmas present. She loves canned food but I only give it to her as a treat every now and then. After that, I headed to the library where I picked up some CDs. By the time I got back to my sister's, it was 2:30. I packed up my stuff and took Tank home. It was rainy and windy at my sister's, but not too terribly chilly. I was hoping it'd be the same up at my house.

The rain gods came through once again - it wasn't raining at all at my house. Not only that, but it wasn't windy, either. I scarfed down a granola bar, fed Tank and did a few chores around the house before putting on my running gear and heading down to the track. I didn't want to wait too long and risk running in the dark.

I had on a long sleeved tee shirt, the fleece vest my mom bought me and my rain jacket. It was 44° with no wind or rain. By the fourth run, I had tossed the jacket onto the track next to my crappy gym shoes. All in all, a very good run. Unlike Tuesday and Thursday, I actually wanted to run today. I felt really good out there, too. Taller, somehow. I didn't feel like I wanted to die halfway through, either. I'm improving, but I'm still going to do another round of Week 2 next week. If the weather was warmer, I'd start Week 3, but the cold does a number on my lungs, so I feel like I should take it easy.

So yay for me! I'm so happy.

I need food. All I've eaten today is that granola bar.

Week 2, Day 16

I was determined to run today, weather be damned, but once again the weather gods must've been pulling for me because at around 12:15, the sun came out. I very quickly threw on my workout clothes (Last Resort Bra still a godsend) and ran out the door. I’d been to the post office earlier and it hadn’t felt that cold. It was 40° when I left, and when I got to the track (with my running shoes safely wrapped in a plastic bag), the wind picked up and it felt much colder. All I had on was a tee shirt and my rain jacket (and pants). Before I even got going, I had visions of quitting because it was too cold. I didn’t, though. I had a small, sunny window of opportunity, and I wasn’t going to blow it.

I changed into my running shoes and got going. I pulled my hood up and yanked the cinch tight to keep the chill off of my head, and that helped some. The first run was fine, but by the second run I felt elated, like I could take on the whole world. I guess that’s what a little bit of sunshine after four days of rain’ll do to a person. Plus I was just really happy and proud of myself for being out there. Even better, my lower back and hips didn’t hurt at all today. My calves hurt a little, but nothing bad. By the fourth and fifth run I was feeling a bit ragged, so I slowed down some, but for the sixth run I pushed myself. Did a full five minute cool down, stretched, changed back into my crappy shoes and went home. Then I did my ab workout, stretched some more and dropped my mom off for her Thursday errands.

For breakfast I had an Odwalla Choco-walla bar. After my run and ab workout, I had a couple of peanuts (still can't find the goddamn almonds) and a glass of orange juice before heading out with my mom. For lunch I’m having a Trader Joe's toasted sesame/tofu salad and a bowl of tomato soup. Don’t know what I’ll have for dinner. Pizza, probably, since I never made one the other night.

So now I need to invest in a fleece vest and a warm hat because I know now that I don’t mind running in the rain, so long as it’s not a full on downpour.

On the 21st I will have been doing the Couch-to-5k program for four months. Some people would be done with the program by now, but not me. I’m taking my time, and I'm proud of myself for everything I've accomplished so far. I think I’m definitely going to run when I’m in Florida next month, too.

More on the health front, I’m still drinking apple cider vinegar + water several times a day for acid reflux. My mom cut an article about ACV in the newspaper. It mentioned drinking ACV before a meal, which kind of makes more sense than drinking it afterwards, which is what I’d been doing. So now I drink it before I eat and it works much better.

Hurray for running! I’m in such a good mood. The sun keeps coming out, too. When I was in the car with my mom, I told her how glad I was that I ran today. She said, ”I’m glad you ran, too.” I made a joke about her being sick of how fat I am, but I realized that when my mom asks me, ”Did you run today?” she’s actually genuinely interested in whether or not I ran and is glad that I’m doing something for my health. I wish I could get her to exercise more. Swimming twice a week is good, but she’s in her wheelchair the rest of the time. I need to figure out a way to get her moving more.

ETA: I forgot to mention - I counted seven laps around the track today, including the warm up and cool down. Not sure how far that is, but there you have it. Seven laps.

Week 2, Day 15

That’s right. I ran today. I did my 20 minutes aerobic + ab workout this morning and then basically sat around waiting for the rain to let up. I watched the temperature rise on the Weatherbug, but at around 2:15 or so, it dipped from 50 to 49°, so I figured it was now or never. Not that the 40’s are cold, but it was also really windy and I knew it wasn’t going to be pretty out there if I waited any longer. I put on a sweatshirt, a baseball hat and my raincoat and headed out to my car.

Got down to the parking lot and it was pissing rain, so I sat around for a few minutes, made a voice post on my Live Journal, listened to some Golden Earring. When it let up some, I headed out to the track. Because I’m a genius, I wore my old gym shoes and put my running shoes in a plastic grocery bag. I have to walk through a lot of wet, muddy grass to get to the track, and I didn’t want to get my running shoes all icky. I switched shoes and got down to business.

I was cold at first, especially with the wind gusting in from the south, but once I started running, I got pretty sweaty. The first run was good. When I got to the second run, I wanted to quit and go home. I felt the same up until the fifth run when I realized I was almost done and I felt really good. I pushed myself on the sixth run and got going with a feeble but determined jog.

So despite my absences from the track, I think I did pretty well. The only problem is, my lower back hurt a lot. It’s been happening a lot lately, and I’m not sure what’s up. Maybe the cold weather? I hope it’s not arthritis. I was willing to accept it eventually spreading to my hips, but my spine? Unacceptable.

I gave myself a full five minutes to cool down, then I stretched and put my crappy shoes back on. Right before I got to my car, it started pouring again. Perfect timing! I think the rain gods are sick of me being fat, too. “Look, we’ll hold off the rain for forty minutes if you’ll please just get off your ass and DO something.”

I feel really really really really good. The whole time I was running, I was miserable. What kept me going was thinking about running eight miles next August. Christie suggested I look for some five mile runs in my area to try beforehand, so I’ll definitely check into that.

For breakfast I had a smoothie (berries, peaches, soy milk, apple juice, soy yogurt) with a tablespoon of ground flax seed mixed in. Pre-run, I had a handful of peanuts (because I couldn’t find my almonds). For lunch I had leftover Trader Joe’s vegetable and barley soup. (Can I just tell you how much I love barley? I hate rice, but I looooooooove barley. I need to buy some and then make something with it.) For dinner, I’ll probably make a veggie pizza.

I think I’m starting to gain back some of the weight I lost, so that’s one of the reasons why I ran in the wind and rain. I don’t want to be miserable anymore. I’m happy when I run, and I know I was losing weight because of it. So I’m stepping up my workouts and hopefully will start seeing results soon. I refuse to spend another year fat and miserable and feeling sorry for myself.

Oh! More good news: I was able to download my running log from Cool Running and open it in Excel on my own computer. I sent the file in to RunningAHEAD and now I've got all my info on that site! Thanks again to Christie for telling me about that place. Seems like there's a flood of disgruntled Cool Running folks joining up over there.

Thanks for nothing.

I went to Cool Running last night to go over my running stats only to find that this wonderfully glorious orgasmically awesome upgrade they've been going on about has taken effect and it. is. HIDEOUS.

All of my running information is gone. Granted, it wasn't several years worth like some people's, but it was still valuable to me, and I counted on Cool Running's easy running log to track my progress. It's all gone. Now I've got to log in to active.com. But! I can't access any of my information until Monday. And! It's no longer exclusively running. Now I've got to sort through piles of tennis, baseball, Lifestyle Vehicles, singles, travel, golf, etc.

All I want, see? Is a website...about RUNNING. I want it all in one package. You know, kind of like Cool Running used to be before they sold out and became ad whores?

I'm incredibly pissed off. Can you tell?

I'm shopping for a new website, so if anyone's got suggestions, let me hear 'em. JUST RUNNING, please. I could give two shits about golf. Oh, and you've got to log in every fecking time you click to another part of the site. HOW IS THIS AN UPGRADE!?

Very very very very very very very very very very very UNHAPPY.

Progress

No, I didn't run today. No time. I didn't have a chance to do my strength training yesterday, so I did it today. I realized that the reason I'm not seeing progress anymore is because I need to boost my workouts. I'm doing more reps now, and I know that will help.

I'm going to hurt really bad in the morning, but I'm looking forward to it. One other thing I've started doing is modified push ups. I've been doing wall push ups for over a year, and I felt it was really time I moved on to something more challenging. /sarcasm

It's supposed to rain all next week, but I think a hat and a raincoat ought to do the trick. If I'm going to run eight miles this summer, I don't have time to slack off anymore. I want to do this. Have to do this. It's good to have a goal.

Inspiration

I just had a brain storm.

I was sitting here, mooning over how incredibly fat and unhappy I am, when I decided to load up my pal Christie’s running blog. She started out doing the Couch to 5k program five months ago (and finished it). She is the one who inspired me to start a journal when I started the Cto5k program.

So the other day I read how she’d run 8 on the 8th, “a virtual race for running blogging friends,” and it seemed like a good goal to have. Since I started running in July, I have logged 23 miles on the track (total -- not all at once!). I’m still on Week 2 of the Couch to 5k program. By Week 9, I will be running 3 miles, three times a week. That’s nine miles total.

Which brought me to this: Christie and a bunch of others ran eight miles on the eighth of December. What if I made a goal of running eight miles on August 8th? Get it? 8/8/08? It’s something concrete to shoot for, and I could think up a really nice reward for myself. It’s just what I need to get me out of this fat funk. I don’t know how realistic it is for me to think I can run eight miles by then, but I’ll never know unless I try. The new Self Challenge will start in February, so I’ll have that to guide me, plus I’m going to see if we can borrow Mr. Wonderful’s truck and bring the treadmill up here. I’ll have to do some rearranging, but I’m pretty sure I can fit it in the office. And I can watch the birdies while I run!

While I’m at it, I’ve got to get my crap out of my old room at my sister’s house because I seriously need to be sleeping in a bed and not on doubled up futon mattresses. I’m old and this isn’t good for my spine.

So that’s what I came up with. I need to lose weight to do this. The pace that I run now, it works for me because of my fitness level and how overweight I am. But if I want to run eight straight miles by summer, I have to lessen the burden my muscles and joints and bones are hauling around all day.

It’s time to quit fucking around.

Limbo

Don’t get excited, I haven’t been running lately. I just wanted to post this picture I took of my (I like to call it “my”) track over the summer with my Holga. I really wish I hadn’t put the line in the center of the shot, but I figured you might not be able to tell it was a track otherwise. Live and learn, I guess.

I got eleven rolls of film back the other day - a year’s worth, really. It was a Christmas present from my sister. The majority of the film didn’t turn out, but the ones that did, I’m pretty happy with. I’ve got them all up at my Flickr.

This photo pretty much sums up how I feel about not running:

I think I'm starting to gain weight again, though possibly it's premenstrual bloat. Either way, I'm paying better attention to actual hunger and just plain old boredom. I talked to my BFF of 20 years last week, and after I got off the phone, I cried. They were happy tears, though. I haven't seen her in seven years, and the way my life has been going lately (downhill fast), talking to her got me out of my funk. Not that I hadn't spoken to her in a long time, it's just that something clicked. We made a promise to each other that, no matter what, we would see each other in 2008. So that is my inspiration. Not that she won't love me if I'm fat, but I don't want to be out of breath and uncomfortable the entire time we're together.

For the past month or so, I've really been slacking off with the aerobic, especially since I haven't been running very often. Instead of doing a whole 20 minutes, I just do a five minute warm up. Well, not anymore. I kicked my ass today, aerobically and with my hand weights.

For breakfast I had Trader Joe's strawberry soy yogurt with a tablespoon of ground flax seeds, and for lunch I had a big salad and a vegetarian taco.

I admit, I strayed a little. I was recently turned on to these delicious S.O.B.s:



Expensive, yes, but an excellent holiday treat. I only had one today, so that's not too bad.

Oh, another thing I'm looking forward to: February! That's when Self starts their three month fitness challenge, and I always do really well on it. I need a bit of structure I guess, and I like being able to input my meals and workouts and seeing it all graphed out for me. The other good thing about February is: sweet peas! (The flower, not the veggie.) That's when my sister and I buy our seeds and get them started. 2008 is the year we sell some at the farmer's market, I just know it. She's going to grow half at her house, and I'm going to grow the other half up here. I just need to make some frames first.

So that's something to look forward to.

Sorry. I haven't been running, so you had to read all this other crap instead. The Weatherbug says it'll be 44 and sunny tomorrow, so I do plan on heading down to the track.

I'll be seeing you tomorrow, then!

Still here!

I haven’t run since last week. I feel terrible about it, but I just haven’t had the time. I was supposed to be leaving for Florida on Saturday, but those plans have been shot to hell. Why?

1. We had to euthanize my mom’s guinea pig last Friday.
2. My dog got a ginormous hematoma in his left ear and I’ve spent the last week draining the bloody fluid out with syringes.
3. We had a pretty nasty wind storm here Sunday and Monday, during which our roof started leaking. Directly into the light fixture in the kitchen. We’ve been waiting four days for this fucking roofer to come out and take a look and so far, no sign of him.

At the least, we’ll have to have some repair work done. At the most, a new roof. Obviously, we can’t go on vacation in the middle of all this. And I’ve had so much going on, I haven’t had time to run. At this point, I think I’m just going to start over at Week 1. It’s supposed to be in the 40’s and sunny all next week, so hopefully I can get back in the swing of things.

I’ve still been working out regularly, so at least there’s that. I’ve been feeling like crap lately; physically and emotionally. Everything that can go wrong, has. After the year I’ve had (three animals dead from cancer), I really needed to get away. Seems like I can’t even do that. So now I’m having a huge pity party and none of you are invited. Sorry. There’s only enough room in this house for my despair.

On the health front, I feel ugly and bloated. I’m in a completely negative space about my body and my health, and 100% of that is because of not running. Since I started the Couch to 5k program, I’ve felt confident, happy, energetic and hopeful about my future. I haven’t had any trouble sleeping, either.

These days I’m depressed, hating my looks even though I’m still doing aerobics and strength training.

I need to get back to running, but it’s hard. I can’t always fit it in, or the weather prevents me from leaving the house. I know that sounds ridiculous, but I’ve got a 1994 Ford Tempo with a bad engine and I live a mile up a mountain. The snow level here is 1,000 feet, and when it freezes, I can’t go anywhere.

It would be alright if I could rent a truck and get my sister’s treadmill up here. My sister wants to join 24 Hour Fitness (as I’ve mentioned before) because she gets a discount through her work. I want to join with her (because of her discount, I would only be an extra $8 a month), but again -- I’d only be able to go if the weather permitted. And it’s a long fucking way to drive.

I’m just in a really shitty place right now. It’s probably the holidays. I know a lot of it has to do with next month being a year ago that I had to euthanize Luke. I’ve been dreaming about him a lot lately. Crying a lot, too.

I just want 2007 to be over with. Thank gad I've got therapy tomorrow.

Week 2, Day 14

It snowed in the Gorge last night. Snow level was 2,000 feet, so we were still good up here (at 1,000), but it was FREEZE FREEZE FREEZE on the news. I went out with Tank at around midnight last night (I like peeing in the yard with my dog. Don’t judge.) and it was nothing but fog and a waxing moon. It was beautiful. I chased Tank around the yard and up the road a bit. For some reason, he gets really frisky when I take him outside around a full moon.

Anyway, going by the news last night, I didn’t have much hope for the weather today, but I forgot that Oregonians are pussies when it comes to weather. There was barely two inches of snow on the roads and the news interviewed three people who had pulled into gas stations to wait it out.

I can’t tell you how many times I drove my Gramma to bingo in the middle of a (Chicago) blizzard. I went to class when it was 80 below with the windchill. That’s one of the big things that annoys me about living here. It’s precipitation, people. Deal with it.

Anyway, Mom and I took Pignacious (her guinea pig) to the vet this morning because he’s not improving. Turns out the mass in his belly has doubled in size. The doctor says it can only be a cancerous tumor, which is very rare in a cavy so young (he’s a little over a year old). She said we could do surgery, but she doesn’t have much hope in the outcome. So we took him home and I’ll keep giving him vitamin C and Critical Care food. He’s not doing well, though, and we’ll probably end up taking him back in this weekend or so. I’m going to miss him like crazy, but we can’t let him suffer. I’d never had (or liked) a guinea pig before, but I love this little guy. He’s a two pound lump of attitude.

When we got back home, I ate a banana, then did my 20 minutes of aerobic and my ab workout, and then headed down to the track before it started to rain. You just never know around here. It was (is) 45°, sunny, just a bit of wind. Perfect. The wind was a bit chilly during the warm up, but once I got going, I was pretty comfortable.

Running wasn’t all that bad, at least not as agonizing as I’d feared it would be after such a long break. I had been worried I’d have to demote myself back to Week 1. Not so! I started out really well; my recovery time was really quick, though not so much by the fifth and sixth runs. My legs were in pretty good shape, too, though for some reason my lower back ached the entire time. I chalked it up to being a week and a half out of practice.

I really didn’t feel it when I started running today. It felt like a chore. What really helped was affirmations. I know how hokey and cheesy and lame that sounds. I still feel kind of silly typing it up, but it’s one of the things I’m working on in therapy. My therapist (well, she’s a counselor, but whatever) is big on cognitive therapy, and one of the last times I was there, she gave me papers on affirmations and how to change from negative self-talk to positive thinking. I have a really big problem with negative self-talk, and it’s become apparent to me that this has been a lifelong problem.

One of the papers she gave me said:

Affirmations are based on TWO concepts of change:

1. An individual has the personal power to create her/his desires, hopes and dreams.
2. Life is an opportunity to grow.

So I’ve been working on that. Just repeating little things in my head every day. I won’t mention them here because, well, they’re private, but they’re in my head and I’m working on giving them power over my negative thoughts. So while I was running today, feeling sad about Pignacious and slightly aggravated about killing myself on the track, I kept my mind focused on affirmations. I kept thinking about how much I hate where I am now in my life and how badly I want to change it. And I am changing it. That’s what kept me going on the track.

So that helped. Yay, therapy!

Incidentally, I started the Couch to 5k program three months ago, and I’m still on Week 2. And I don’t feel bad about that. I’m not a professional athlete. I’m running to get in shape, not because I am in shape.

Oh and this Last Resort Bra? Best thing EVER. It worked so well. I’m so happy with it. Totally worth $60.

I'll end this with something my therapist told me last week: A future possibility that has not happened and may not happen and is hurting the present.

Inspiration

I was just reading some of my older entries and was inspired to work out. I was going to anyway, but I hadn't planned on doing it until later this afternoon, since I have to take the guinea pig to the vet.

However, reading how well I did this summer and the results I've gotten from taking care of myself, I didn't want to put it off. I did the full 20 minutes of aerobic (instead of cheating and just doing the warm up) and weight training. That's right, I'm bad!

I got my hair chopped off this weekend. I really liked having long hair again, but it was annoying me. The ends were really split, so I went in and just had all the bad stuff chopped off. A friend of mine is a hair dresser, and she does conditioner-only herself, so she was fine with not using any shampoo, conditioner or product on my hair when she cut it. I had done the BS/vinegar wash that morning, so all she did was wet my hair and get to work. I went from this to this, and I love it. I know I look miserable in the pictures, but I was using my Mac’s Photo Booth program and when you click on the button to take the picture, it has a three second countdown. So that’s what I was looking at. Also, this is what my hair looks like (pre-cut) after three months no ‘poo. Niiiice.

I had a point here. What was it?

Oh, right. Before, I would put my hair up in an octopus clip, but now I don't have enough hair for it to hold. I had to go out and buy a scrunchy to keep the hair out of my face when I workout. I also bought my very first shower cap yesterday. It's pink with polka dots. I'm old!

Anyway. Change is good. This haircut really gave me a boost.

Time to put that shower cap to use!

Running tomorrow! Can't wait!

Getting there.

So, as you can tell, I haven't run for a very long time. However, I am absolutely positive that I'm going to get back out there on Tuesday. It's going to be in the upper 40's with no rain, so yay! I leave for Florida in a little under two weeks, and I know that running helps reduce my anxiety and helps me sleep at night, so even though I may have to take a break while I'm in Florida, I still want to get in as many runs as I can before I leave.

Can't wait!

My exploded spelling rib

Yesterday morning, I turned to take Pignacious out of his cage to give him his daily meds and something went *blump* in my left side, in back under the ribs. I couldn't breathe for a few seconds and then the pain set in. I'm not entirely sure what happened, possibly I pulled a muscle or popped a rib. Afterwards, I had a lot of trouble remember how to spell certain words, so some of the folks at the PPK said that I exploded my spelling rib. Even though it hurts to do so, laughing helps.

I iced my side for 20 minutes and then spent most of the rest of the day with a hot water bottle. The week and a half prior to this, I hadn't exercised or ran at all because I've been sick. Yesterday was going to be my first day back to working out, and I had to go and injure myself picking up a two pound guinea pig.

So, between illness, inclement weather and guinea pig-related injuries, I don't know if I'll ever run again.

Today my side feels a lot better, though some pain remains (for some reason) in my left shoulder/side of my neck. I really wanted to work out today, but knew I should in no way push myself if I didn't feel 100% better. I'm hoping to start up my runs again on Thursday. Fingers crossed I won't have to start all over at Week 1. Though I guess the bright side is, at least I wasn't eight weeks into my training when this happened.

My sister bought this book today called Walking Your Blues Away: How to Heal the Mind and Create Emotional Well-Being, by the incredible, wonderful, kick ass Thom Hartmann. I’m thinking I might pick myself up a copy to bring with to Florida. I leave on December 8th and return on January 11th.

I do plan on bringing my workout tape with me (Mom only has a VCR) so even if I don’t run, I’ll still be getting exercise. I guess I’ll just use canned vegetables for hand weights.

More salt on the wound? I got my Last Resort Bra last week and have been unable to take it out for a test run (pun intended).

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH HUMBUG.

Foghorn leghorn

I’ve been up since 7:45 waiting for the fog to lift so I can go running. It retreats, then it rolls in again. Retreats, rolls in again. I’m not sure if it’s like this in town or just up here on the mountain, but I have to go pick up Freddie’s thyroid meds, plus drive my mom to her Thursday Thing, go back to the library (forgot to return a movie) and then therapy. I suppose I can run tomorrow, but it’s supposed to rain.

I really need to get my sister's treadmill up here. I’m starting to think it’s the only way I can keep up with my runs, and I’m loathe to do that because I love being outdoors.

FRUSTRATED.

Week 2, Day 13

Yeah, yeah, I know. Another week of Week 2. After taking a “sick week” last week, I can’t very well just jump right into Week 3, now can I?

I had two flax waffles for breakfast along with a cup of enriched soy milk. Then (well, a half hour later) I did 20 minutes of aerobics and my ab workout. About ten minutes before I ran, I ate an apple. I want to pick up some almond butter so I can make that Shazzie choco-nut spread that I love so very very much. I started out spreading it on bananas, but I absolutely love it on sliced apples. Somehow, it reminds me of taffy apples and taffy apples make me think of Autumn and childhood and my grade school’s annual book fair. Those were the best times. I’ve always been about the books. My mom still jokes to people that ”since they were little, my girls have read four books at once: two in each hand, one propped up on the table and one in their laps.”

But I digress. The weather was absolutely perfect for running. 44° and sunny with just a bit of a breeze coming in from the south. I wore a hoodie over my tank top and by the second run I had taken it off and tossed it in the grass by the fence. I feel like my skin is getting ready to hibernate and I have to store up as much sunlight as I can. It starts getting dark here at around 4:30, so I have to plan my runs carefully. Not so early that my lungs freeze up, but not so late that I need a gorram flashlight to find my way around the track.

The run itself went pretty well. My calves didn’t hurt all that much, which I attribute to my working out before I went to the track. Christie mentioned a while back that she thought my sore calf problem might be helped by getting a good pair of running shoes. I do plan on going to an actual running “store” sometime in the future so I can get the proper shoes, but right now I can’t afford it. As it is, the running shoes I have now are actually the best pair of gym shoes I've owned in ... probably ever. Thank you, Nordstrom, for your mixed-size shoe policy!!!

So today my calves weren’t so bad.

By the fourth run, I was really out of breath and realized I was pushing myself too hard. Once I slowed down, I did much better.

I’m so glad to literally be back on track!

I’m leaving for Florida in about a month, and I don’t know what I’ll do about exercise. The front room in my mom’s condo is big enough for me to do aerobics and strength training, but not only does she not have a DVD player (for my aerobics DVD), but her front room is currently housing a bunch of boxes she had shipped in from our old house in Chicago. So I’m not sure where or how I’m going to be working out for those six weeks. I’m not even sure if I’m going to run. There’s a nice park nearby, but I’m leary of running alone in a neighborhood full of lunatics. Okay, it’s not that bad, but still. I need to make a list of everything I have to bring with (VWaV, VCToTW, V-com). Oh, and I should probably buy a suitcase. Goodwill, here I come! (My mom says, ”Don’t get a suitcase from Goodwill. Somebody probably peed in it.”)

Still here

Just not feeling well. The weather is perfect, so this is killing me. I didn't run all last week. I really, really want to, but I'm still not feeling well. I've had a really hard time breathing lately, too. Normally I get really wheezy the week preceding my period, but this hasn't gone away. My sister has been having trouble, too, and that never happens. She thinks it had something to do with the wildfires in California.

So I figured it's best to play it safe. So what if I fall back a bit? The Couch to 5k program isn't going anywhere, and neither am I. It's not being out in the fresh air and sunshine that bothers me. I go out in the yard a lot with Tank, but it's not the same.

I just took all last week off. Though it was good for my immune system, it took its toll on my arthritis and back pain. This week I resumed my workouts, except for running. I'm not going all out with the aerobic, though. I just warmed up yesterday and did strength training. In a little while I'll do the same warm up and then do abs. I have to stop by my sister's house and lend her my car. Before that I'm going to stop at the library and pick up the pilates DVD they have on hold for me (along with Singin' in the Rain). Hopefully a new routine will inspire me.

My sister recently had a health "scare" (more like a very, very, very mild concern) and is now motivated to start working out again. She asked if I would like to come and run with her at her house. That would be awesome, except that I'm about to (hopefully) start Week 3, so we'd end up not running together after the warm up. Plus, she doesn't have an iPod. She can probably just steal Homer's, though. Also, her work offers a discount for 24 Hour Fitness, and since I'm a family member, it would apply to me, too. I'm loath to join that place again, but if they've got an indoor track, I might be tempted. I don't think they do, though.

And me, I just feel like I'm getting fatter and fatter, and I know it's my diet. So I made the best smoothie ever for breakfast.

Okay. Maybe it’s not the best, but it’s the best one I’ve made in seven years because that’s the last time I made a frickin’ smoothie.

I wanted to keep with fruit-only for breakfast, but I also wanted a way to get my flax seeds everyday without having to keep buying yogurt (expensive). Last week I cut up and froze some overripe bananas and also bought a couple bags of frozen fruit (mixed berry - blue, red, straw; peaches).

So this morning, I felt like crap. So much so that my mom said we should hold off on going swimming. I got up before 8:00 but my mom was still sleeping. I didn’t want to run the blender and disturb her. So after she got up, I offered to make her a smoothie. I didn’t really have a recipe, I just threw stuff in:

• One cup enriched Silk
  
• Three or four ice cubes
  
• 2 Tablespoons soy yogurt (all I had was strawberry, otherwise I would’ve used plain)
  
• Approximately half a frozen banana
  
• Approx. half a cup frozen (mix) berries
  
• Three or four slices of frozen peach
  
• A dash of apple juice (approx. 4 Tbs)

I blended the hell out of it and then poured it into two cups. Then I ground up a tablespoon each of flax seeds and dumped it in our cups. Mixed. Consumed.

So yay for smoothies. I’m glad my mom wanted one because I know it’s the healthiest thing she’ll eat all day. I try to work a tablespoon of ground flax seed into her diet every day.

I think it’s time to make more Vampire Stew. And I'm definitely trying that nutloaf recipe again. I made it last week and it sucked so bad. It called for one raw potato to be grated, so I did. Well, it didn't cook all the way and it tasted terrible. I found out later that Corinne's mom blends the walnuts and potato together in the blender. Well, that little tidbit would have come in handy before I tried the recipe, no? The gravy, I'm happy to report, turned out beautifully. So if you're going to try making the nutloaf, toss the grated potato in the blender with the walnuts!

Lastly, back on the subject of running, I finally ordered a good bra. It kills me to spend that much money on an article of clothing, but really, this thing is essential to my continued good health and happiness. The only down side is that it's on back order until November 15th. Grrr.

Recipes

I forgot to post the yummy recipes Corinne’s mom gave me:

Sunflower Seed Nut Loaf

• ½ cup sunflower seeds, ground
  
• 2/3 cup walnuts, ground
  
• 3/4 cup breadcrumbs
  
• 1 medium raw potato, shredded
  
• 1 cup nut or soy milk
  
• 1 garlic clove, chopped fine
  
• 1 small onion, chopped fine
  
• 1 teaspoon sea salt
  
• 1 Tablespoon soy sauce
  
• 1/4 teaspoon sage
  
• 1/4 teaspoon garlic salt

Mix all ingredients in a large mixing bowl. Grease a loaf pan with olive oil or cooking spray and pour mixture into it. Cover with aluminum foil and bake 45 minutes at 350°. Uncover and bake an additional 15 minutes. Serves 6 to 8.

Oat Country Gravy

• ½ cup oats
  
• 2 cups water
  
• 1 Tablespoon nutritional yeast flakes
  
• 2 teaspoons onion powder
  
• ½ teaspoon salt
  
• 2 Tablespoons oil
  
• 2 Tablespoons soy sauce

Blend in blender and cook until thickened.

__________________________________________________________________

If any of y’all try it, let me know what you think. I’ve got all the fixin’s except for the bread crumbs, otherwise I’d be stuffing my face right about now.

I'm still not feeling well. Not sick exactly, but sneezy and congested. I found out that the cake I ate this weekend wasn't vegan. It had milk in it. I think that's what's happening to me --- bad reaction to the dairy. I wish I could get it out of my system. I wonder if drinking a detox tea would help any. I feel so gross.

The weather is going to be absolutely gorgeous all week. Really the perfect opportunity to start Week 3.

I just don't know if I should go for it what with how shitty I feel right now.

Self sabotage?

Why is it that I never seem to get one full week of running in?

I woke up at 5:30 this morning and yacked in the toilet. Went back to bed. Woke up several hours later. I feel okay, not queasy or anything. I want to put it down to eating like crap yesterday and topping it off with a sandwich of possibly suspect (expired) Tofurkey slices, mustard and aioli.

I really want to run, I'm just not sure if I should push it.

Week 2, Day 12

I did it! I didn’t slack off again!

Had a late start today. As soon as I got up, I had to shower because I was going to a birthday party at 1:00 and since I’ve gone no ‘poo, my hair get scuzzy in between baking soda scrub/vinegar rinses. Actually, Sunday will be three months since I went no ‘poo. I would think my hair would be done detoxing by now, but what do I know? I’m thinking I’m going to start washing my hair twice a week instead of just on Sundays.

At any rate, since I was going to be around people, I figured I should wash my hair. Then I had to take Mom to Blockbuster so we could buy Corinne a movie. Then it was off to the post office to finally get some change-of-address forms.

Got to Corinne’s house at around 1:45. We love to make an entrance. /sarcasm

I was the only one there not collecting Social Security.

Aside from Corinne’s brother being an asshat about my veganism, I had a pretty good time. I love old people. I love their stories and, when there’s a married couple, the way they play off of each other.

We (me, Mom, Corinne, Corinne’s mom and brother, and an elderly couple who are Corinne’s other clients) sat down to lunch. I was a bit apprehensive about it since I’m vegan and they’re not. Corinne and her mother are Seventh Day Adventists, so they eat vegetarian. Except for Corinne, who eats meat outside the home. All I’d had to eat by then was a banana, so I was pretty hungry. The dinner spread was some sort of loaf, mashed potatoes, broccoli, cranberry sauce, gravy, olives, beets and salad. I took beets and some broccoli before Corinne’s mother told me the loaf, gravy and mashed potatoes were all vegan. And they were sooooo goooood. Corinne’s mother explained to everyone that I was a vegan for moral issues instead of spiritual (like her), and Corinne’s (43-year old) brother laughed and said, ”What cow ever died to give you milk?” I looked him in the eye and said, ”All of them.”

Asshole.

I need a 400 pound man ridiculing my lifestyle?

After dinner (and vegan cake), we made Corinne open her presents, and then we all sat around and talked for an hour or so. Her brother, thankfully, went back downstairs. Then we all went into the front room to watch Ellen. Old people are so damn cute.

Mom and I went home soon after that. I was getting antsy because Tank was home alone and I knew he had to go potty soon, plus the sun was out and I was itching to get my run in before the rain started up again. Before we left, Corinne’s mom printed out copies of the Sunflower Seed Nut Loaf and Oat Country Gravy recipies for me. I’m going to make them tomorrow or Sunday.

After I got home (at around 4:30) and took Tank for a stroll around the house, I quickly put on my new workout pants and a tank top, strapped on my iPod, grabbed my bag and my rain jacket and drove down to the track. There was a couple speed walking around the track with their two dogs, but by the time I’d finished my warm up and stretches, they were gone.

It was 53° out there, sunny with a strong wind coming in from the south. I was fired up and ready to go. The run was pretty darn good. My calves started to hurt a bit after the third run but I worked through it. When I got to the sixth run, I really pushed myself. Not so much that I’d hurt myself, but just enough that I went out with a bang. Since I was feeling so good, I did a full five minute cool down around the track. Normally I do one lap and then head home to finish my workout, but it felt so good to be out in the sunshine, I wasn’t in a hurry to get back.

When I got home, I took Tank outside again and then went into the office to do my strength training.

Tomorrow is World Toy Camera Day, so I’ll be out in Portland with my sister and my Holgas. I will run again on Sunday.

I think I’m ready to start Week 3.

One final note: I think I've gone down another pant size. That was another reason I bought three new pair of pants from Goodwill. I wasn't sure if my clothes weren't fitting properly because they were old (I never buy new clothes) or if I was just in denial about losing weight. The jeans I bought are the same size as the pants that are loose on me but I figured were just "old." Well, these new jeans are loose on me, too. So it's not the clothes, it's me!

Also, I apologize for rambling. I'm trying to keep this blog focused on my journey into the world of running, but sometimes the details help.

Blowin' in the wind

Okay, so I’m totally being a big baby about running today. There are high wind warnings everywhere.

A Wind Advisory Is Issued When Sustained Winds Are Forecast To Be 31 To 39 Mph OR Gusts Will Range Between 45 And 57 Mph. Winds Of These Magnitudes May Cause Minor Property Damage Without Extra Precautions. Motorists In High Profile Vehicles Should Use Caution Until The Winds Subside.

Right now, it is cloudy (and really, really windy) but no rain. It’d be the perfect time to run, but ... I’m scared.

I’m not really sweating it since I can always run Friday and Sunday. That really kind of works out for the best, since Saturday is World Toy Camera Day, and I plan to be out most of the day, “shooting” with my sister. Friday I have a birthday party to go to, but hopefully I can find the time to run beforehand. I’ve got a lot to do today, anyway. My mom’s rides fell through, so I’ve got to drop her off at her Thursday thing, and then I’ve got to drive all the way into Tualatin to pick up Lady’s ashes. Then I’ve got to drop them off at my sister’s house and drive all the way back to the other side of the world to pick my mom up. Then I've got to drive all the way back to my sister's house tonight so we can watch Supernatural together.

So why am I still in my pajamas?

I was looking forward to running today because I got new workout pants! I went to Goodwill last night to buy a bigger water bowl for Tank and a tray for Freddie’s food (she’s mostly toothless and spits kibble everywhere). I ended up buying two pair of jeans (before that I had an old pair of khakis and a pair of green pants. And nothing else.), too. The workout pants have pockets, so now I don’t have to shove my keys and puffers in my bra when I run.

The other reason I’m posting is because my friend Jan was wondering how I got my mileage calculation thing that I post sometimes:

20.0 miles
Time: 11h 38m 00s
Avg. Pace: 34:54/mile

Well, when you register at Cool Running, you can keep track of your runs. You can also edit the start page to your liking. My start page has: my running log, local weather, daily run, and featured races.

This is what the running log looks like when I open it up to log a run, and this is what it looks like as I’m entering the information. As you can see, there are three options for Location. I have no idea what short or long loops are, so I just click on “track.” For Stats I put “one mile,” but I have no idea if that’s how far I’m running. I’m too lazy and/or stupid to gauge it, so my information is probably completely and utterly wrong. I have no idea how many laps I run, and at any rate, the track is much smaller than regular tracks, so maybe four times around isn’t a mile. Corinne said it was, and she went to school there, so perhaps I should take her word for it.

I hope that wasn’t too terribly confusing.

Stupid wind. I washed my “new” clothes as soon as I got home last night. At least I can thank the wind for drying them so quickly.

Intermediate 5k Program

I have a friends only blahhhg blog (still hate that word) on livejournal, and I’m a (n00b) member of the Couch 2 5k community. Someone just posted about this intermediate 5k program at Cool Running. Hmmm. This pleases me. I haven’t read through the whole thing yet, but a glance at the schedule has me confused as hell.



Since I’m only on Week 2 of the Couch to 5k program, I’m not too concerned with the details right now. And since I’m an idiot, I keep chuckling when I come across the word “fartlek.”

I’m hoping the rain will hold off for a bit so I can run tomorrow. Yeah, I’m being a big baby about running in the rain. Shut up!

Fartlek.

Heh.

Week 2, Day 11

I ran today. Didn't think I would, but I did. It's supposed to rain all week, so I was dreading the run. Woke up this morning. Rain. Waited around. More rain. Finally, at around 2:15, the sun came out and it was nothing but blue skies and puffy white clouds. I hurried up and threw my running shoes on, put on a long sleeved tee shirt, grabbed my rain jacket, my hat and my iPod, jumped in the car and drove down to the track.

The good weather lasted until the third run. Then the dark gray clouds rolled in again. There was no warning drizzle, it just started pouring. I could have handled a bit of rain, but not this. I'm just really paranoid about catching a cold. So I hurried back to my car and drove home. Of course, when I got there, the rain had died down considerably.

So I finished my last three runs in the front yard. It wasn't easy because the land here is anything but flat. That's why I didn't just run in the road. It's all up or downhill. I almost broke my ankle a time or two before I decided to run up the flat part of the road. Right when it starts to go up, I turned right into my neighbor's circular gravel driveway and trotted back down the road. It was an awkward path of street and yard and I was miserable, but I was determined to finish my run.

And finish I did. And you know what? It wasn't hard. I don't know if it started out as determination to outrun the rain, or if I finally jumped that Week 2 hurdle, but I felt pretty damn good for the entire run. Even considering I forgot to double wrap my boobs.

Normally, I run with two sports bras on, since one isn't enough to stop my girls from bouncing uncomfortably. But I was so concerned with getting down to the track before it started raining again, I only remembered to put one bra on. So I've decided it's time for the Last Resort. It kills me to spend that much on an article of clothing, but this isn't frivolous. This is something I need to continue down the road to health and happiness.

Anyway, back to today. I had an overripe banana (pleh) for breakfast. I'm going to cut up the rest and freeze them for future smoothie use. I didn't have lunch yet, but I inhaled half an Odwalla (Choco-walla) bar before I ran out the door a little while ago. For lunch I'll probably have leftover pasta and a big salad.

It was 54° out today. I was too warm in my long sleeved shirt + rain jacket, but I wanted to be prepared. Of course, right now the sky is blue again and the rain has stopped. Oh well. There was no way I was driving all the way back down to the track on the off chance that I'd be able to finish my run. I improvised and finished up here, and that's what matters.

Now I've got to shower and go to Goodwill. I need to get a bigger water bowl for Tank, and I also want to get some sort of plastic tray to put under (my cat) Freddie's food bowl. She doesn't have very many teeth left, so she leaves a huge mess whenever I feed her. I clean it up every day, but it comes right back again. I figure I can just trap the stray kibble in a tray and dump it back in her food bin for later.

Anyway. I kicked today's run's ass. I think some part of my determination was just trying to burn off some of the grief over Lady. I'm not sorry she died; it was time, no doubt about it. It's just that life without her smiling little face is so very bleak. The rain here, it can really get to you.

Paws

I didn't run Thursday. I spent all day at my sister's house. Our dog, Lady, was having a bad day (Cushing's, arthritis). Having trouble walking again. I guess deep down, I knew, but I was in denial about it all night. Finally, at midnight, my sister said we had to take her in. Suddenly, it was Luke all over again. I could see she was dying. We took her to Dove Lewis and they euthanized her. Chris and I were with her the whole time. I had my hand over her heart and felt it stop. She went very peacefully.

Yesterday we took her to Dignified Pets and had what I guess you could call our own version of a dog funeral. We (me, mom, sister) sat with her for a while and tied some fur from our three other dogs plus Chloe, the cat who especially loved Lady, around Lady's leg. We also cut off a small lock of our own hair to put with her. It's something we started doing; just makes us feel better that part of all of us who loved her will be with her until the very end.

I didn't run today, either. I finally got my period and I'm just not feeling up to it. I have no regrets about our life with Lady. Fourteen years is a good run. She had to have been at least 18 years old, but she didn't get old until very recently. It was a good (and dignified) end, but that doesn't mean I don't want her back here where she belongs. She was the glue that held our pack together. The other animals know, too. Bernie, her “BFF,” didn’t eat yesterday. They'll accept it and get on with their lives, but you can't tell me that they don't grieve.

The worst part about having animals (I won't say "owning") is that, compared to our lifespan, our time with them is so short, while our time without them is so incredibly long.


Lady
1992? - 2007

Week 2, Day 10

That's right. Another round of Week 2.

Yesterday sucked out loud and today is sucking even worse. Seriously. The only good thing I can say about today is that, for the first time, Week 2 didn't make me want to die. It could be a combination of things; I (stupidly) put off my run until after swimming, so it could be that my muscles were nice and warmed up by the time I made it out to the track. I was also in an incredibly bad mood. Perhaps I was too busy thinking about the things that pissed me off to really pay attention to how long I was running.

Whatever the reason, I went out there and did it and I didn't want to die. At all. It was raining, too!

This morning I got up, ate a banana and then went swimming with my mom and her caregiver. I almost took my own car and met them there, but my mom said they didn't have any errands to run and would be going home straight afterwards.

Famous last words.

We didn't get back here until 1:30. Corinne had so many stops to make, and she dilly dallies, so I was in the back seat trying not to scream in frustration. It was my own fault for not driving my own car to the pool.

Also, on the way home, it started raining. I was determined to run despite the weather, though. It was 54° out there. Not a lot of wind, just lots and lots of clouds. I ate a Banana Nut Odwalla Bar, drank some water and the headed down to the track. I wore my tank top, workout pants, rain jacket and baseball hat. It was ever so slightly drizzling when I got there, but it stopped soon enough.

The run was lovely. Still hard, but not as grueling as before. It was shitty and overcast out there, but there was mist off in the mountains and trees. Very beautiful.

So I'm feeling pretty confident that I can give Week 3 a shot next week. I'll have to see how it goes.

Finally, here’s how fat I currently am. That’s the shirt I was too chicken to wear to my friend’s brother’s Hawaiian-themed wedding in July. These days it’s not quite so snug. The green pants I’m wearing, they used to be too tight on me as well. Now I find I have to pull them up a bit when I’m walking around. I took this picture (via my Mac’s Photo Booth) a little while ago. My friend Ian sent me the piñata, which I picked up from the post office this morning. It’s an inside joke from one of our many trips to Target during the Gathering in August. Finally, something to smile about. I needed that. Anyway, I didn’t notice until a few minutes ago, but in that picture, you can see my biceps and deltoids. My arms are still totally flabby and gross (like the rest of me), but tone is there where it once wasn’t. Slowly but surely, I’m unfatting myself!

Week 2, Day 9

18.0 miles
Time: 10h 18m 00s
Avg. Pace: 34:20/mile

Finally! I completed my second full week of Week 2. This run was the hardest. Recovery time was better, but my calves were in bad shape. I think a lot of it had to do with the teenage boys sitting on the playground swings, watching me. An audience always makes me nervous.

Despite the gloom, it was a nice day for running. 61°, just enough wind to keep me from getting too warm. My WeatherBug says rain today, but so far I haven't seen any. Not that I'm complaining. At least it's going to be in the 60's all next week. It says rain on Tuesday, but if it's going to be that warm, I'll just wear my raincoat. Jacket. Thing.

By the second run, I was seriously considering walking it off and going home. Thanks to my anal retentiveness when it comes to schedules, I was unable to stop. I kept going through the aching muscle pain and finished the run. In the middle of it, one of the teenagers walked a lap around the track and then went and sat back down on a swing. The hell?

By the time I got done with my cool down and stretches, another woman was walking the track. She was bundled up in a fleece jacket and thick gloves.

It's 61° outside, folks! Have I mentioned how incredibly wimpy Portlanders are when it comes to "weather"?

I've felt like such a schlub lately. I think it's PMS. I'll have to check my calendar; I think I'm due for a period right about now. My breasts aren't sore, but I'm craving chocolate like a fiend. Yesterday I had a cream cheese and potato chip sandwich for lunch. Squoink.

For breakfast this morning, I had an Odwalla Bar (Super Protein). After my run, I had a banana. I've got some strawberries, too, so I'm gonna have a smoothie for breakfast tomorrow.

After the banana, I did 20 minutes of stretching a la Karen Voight. As bad as my legs felt during/after today's run, I figured I was due for a long bout of stretching.

I'm getting kind of bored with my regular strength training workout (I memorized all the sets from Karen Voight's Your Personal Best video). I really want to try pilates, but I can't afford to buy any DVDs. My sister has the Winsor DVDs somewhere; as soon as she digs them up, I'm going to give it a try.

Walked to the library yesterday afternoon after I dropped my mom off at her Saturday errand destination. I scored:

• Astral Weeks - Van Morrison
  
• Teaser & the Firecat - Cat Stevens
  
• Final Approach - The Byrds
  
• Crossroads - Tracy Chapman
  
• Another Side of Bob Dylan - Bob Dylan
  
• Freewheelin’ Bob Dylan - Bob Dylan
  
• North Country
  
• A History of Violence
  
• Aliens (collector’s edition)
  
• Complete Book of Women’s Running - Runner’s World

There was a second (women's) running book, but I waited too long to pick it up and it was put back into circulation. Ah well.

My sister and her boyfriend came over last night. After we had dinner, I made Sis walk around the yard with me and Tank. We talked about how she wants to get dog trailers for our bikes, so we can take our dogs for bike rides in town. All but Tank are too old an arthritic to really get out much, so we thought this would be a nice way to get them out and about, keep them from getting bored. I don’t actually have a bike, but I’m sure I can borrow Homer’s. How fun would that be? We figure Bernie and Lady can go in one and Meathead and Tank can go in another. Tank’s the only one who is still in good health, so we figure we can leave the top down and let him jump out whenever he wants.

Anyway. Things to think about for the future. Time now to shower.

Week 2, Day 8

The weatherman has been crying rain all week, and what do I find this morning? Sunshine, clouds, 40°. Forkin' A.

So I ran. Again, wasn't feeling it. Motivation was more compulsion to complete a schedule than to run for running's sake, but? I ran.

I got in late last night since I went over to my sister's house to watch Supernatural. She works the night shift and doesn't get home until 11 p.m. Supernatural is on at 9:00, so Homer (sister's b.f.) and I hit record and retreated to different corners of the house. He went into the office to play his video game, and I went upstairs to their bedroom to lounge in their bed and read A Feast for Crows. When Sis finally got home at 11:00, we wasted some time trimming Timmy's dragon claws and then finally watched the show. I didn't end up getting home until 1:45.

Anyway. It was a bit chilly this morning so I wore a sweatshirt over my tank top. Still with the sunblock, though. Very important, kids. Listen to the turtle.

I was pretty comfortable during the run. The wind was coming in from the West, but it was just enough to keep me from getting too warm. By the fifth run, I had taken the sweatshirt off and tied it around my waist.

My recovery time (breath-wise) was a lot quicker today, though it's still murder on my calves. I felt like I wasn't going to make it all the way through, but I know it was more of a mental barrier than a physical one.

For breakfast I had a banana. When I got back, I had soy yogurt with ground flaxseed mixed in. I definitely want to pick up some frozen fruits this weekend so I can consume flax on a daily basis. I know a smoothie will be more filling than a little container of soy yogurt, plus it's less expensive. Mom, Sis and I are heading over to the pool in a bit and afterwards plan on going to Pizza Schmizza for lunch. Foo Foo, here I come! For dinner I may make squash. Or possibly some dumpling stew. It's definitely stew weather.

I'm looking to buy a pellet basket for our wood burning stove up here. It’s a small stove, but this is a small dwelling, so it’s okay. I loooove pellet fires. They’re not as cozy and “romantic” as a wood fire, but they’re enviro-friendly and convenient. No hauling wood (and spiders) from outside. You can just buy bags in bulk, dump the pellets in a bucket and scoop as needed. There's nothing quite like a fire to warm your bones. "Canned" heat just isn't the same. I know that when I sit by a stove with a good fire going, I feel safe and content. Must be instinct. I just can’t exactly figure out how to size and order a basket from this website...

Photos of my sister’s wood burning stove/pellet basket. And another. That’s my dog, Luke, in diapers. He died this past January. Lady is the black dog on the floor by the couch. The bottom half of the person on the couch is me. The fat white blob by my right foot is Chloe.

Week 2, Day 7

I did it! I ran this evening! I wasn’t happy about it (at first), but I did it!

It was crappy allllll day long. I woke up this morning and it was cold and crappy and I thought, well, if it clears up later, I’ll run. I did my 20 minutes of aerobics and then did my strength training, and as I was stretching, it stopped raining and the sun came out. Unfortunately, I had too much to do before leaving for Lady’s acupuncture appointment, so I didn’t run. Crappy crappy crappy rain rain crappy rain, etc.

After leaving the vet, I thought about dropping Lady off at my sister’s and then heading back into town so I could pick some stuff up at the library. They have on hold for me:

• Runner’s World Complete Book of Women’s Running
• The Complete Book of Running for Women
• A History of Violence
• The Rock

The last two, obviously, have nothing to do with running. I normally don’t rent such “guy” movies, but I love Mr. Viggo Mortensen, and I’m on a huge Michael Biehn kick at the moment. Come on, right? Michael Biehn, Sean Connery and Ed Harris all the the same movie? Awww yeahhh.

Anyway. I decided that I’d just wait until Saturday to pick all that stuff up. I was in too much of a hurry to head back in the other direction again, and since it was actually sunny out, I wanted to get home and see if the weather would hold long enough for me to run.

I got down to the track at 5:15. 54°, sunny, a bit windy, clouds rolling in. It really was strange to be out there at that time, with the sun on the “wrong” side of the track. As much as I don’t like working out this late, I have to admit, things were a lot more colorful and gorgeous at that time. Or, I don’t know, I was just happy to see the goddamn sun again.

By the third run, I was feeling pretty grumpy and thinking about packing it in. Then I started thinking about how far I’ve come (yes, I’m “only” on week 2; that’s not the point) and how much I didn’t want to screw that up. So I pushed on. It was still a struggle to get through the last three runs, but I did it and I’m proud of myself for running even though I didn’t feel like it. At all.

The best part? As SOON as I walked in the front door and tossed the car keys in the dish, it started raining. Can I get a what what? Seriously. It’s pouring right now. Am I good or what?

And so I'll be running again on Friday and Sunday. I'm 95% sure I'm going to do another round of Week 2. I'm also thinking of maybe wheedling my brother-in-law into bringing their treadmill up here for me. Nobody uses it down there (not since I bought that used elliptical machine from Sears a couple of years ago), and it would be perfect for me. When it's too cold or shitty out, I can just run indoors. Blech. I'd rather be outside, but I don't want to have to put off my runs due to bad weather.

It's supposed to be clear and in the 60's this weekend, so yay!

Week what, day who?

So my running schedule is all forked to hell.

Saturday I had the Walk for Farm Animals and Sunday . . . I forget what I had going then, but I didn't have time to run.

I was told by numerous weather people that today was supposed to be sunny and clear. Well, guess what? It rained. ALL DAY. I take that back. It didn't rain this morning. Unfortunately, I was swimming at that time. Then I had to take my mom to run errands. By the time I got home, got dressed and got down to the track, it had started raining. I was hoping it would just drizzle a little and move on, but by the time I was done with my warm up, it was raining hard. Not only that, it was windy. I'm not a wimp when it comes to weather, but the last time I was out walking in the cold and rain, I got sick for two weeks. So I decided to pack it in. I'm going to try again tomorrow, even though it says it's going to rain for the next two days. Tomorrow I'll bring my raincoat. Jacket. Thing.

The other reason I postponed the run is because of my knees. And my back. My arthritis has flared up something fierce. I haven't been in this much pain since before I started working out regularly (eight months ago). I haven't done anything differently, so I can only assume it's the change in weather. I hope that's it, because I would hate to think my arthritis has gotten worse. Also, yesterday I helped my mom's caregiver (Corinne) move her entertainment center into the garage. The neighbor kid helped (just me and him), but I find that today my back is in pretty bad shape. I lifted properly and everything. I guess I'm just old and busted. I stuck around afterwards to help her set up her receiver/TV/DVD player/stereo and get everything hooked up again. Dunno how I did it. I'm a technomoron. But I turned everything on and it all worked so yay. I sat and had some water and talked to her and her mom for quite a while. Very sweet people, those gals. Corinne's birthday party is coming up soon and I've been invited (along with my mom). She (Corinne) has diabetes, so I'm looking up vegan recipes catering to the diabetic. They're a big Adventist community here, but not too many of them are vegan, so I figure I'll just make a little something for myself to eat, and make it diabetic-friendly just in case Corinne wants to try some.

For breakfast this morning I had soy yogurt with a tablespoon of ground flax seed. After swimming, I took my mom on some errands. We ended up at the Safeway and I found some Odwalla bars on sale ten for $10. I looked at the ingredients for shits and giggles and was surprised to find they were vegan. I grabbed ten of them, mostly the Choco-wallas. What? I ate one while my mom ran into the post office and holy crunchness was it good. I've lately come to realize that I'm very texture-oriented when it comes to food. Perhaps that's because I have no sense of smell and my sense of taste is possibly diminished? No idea. But when I bit into that Choco-walla, my teeth and taste buds died and went to heaven.

Anyway, I ixnayed the run but I did some aerobics and my ab workout. Afterwards, I stretched longer than I usually do.

Then I drove to my sister's house to pick Lady up. She's got an acupuncture appointment tomorrow at 2:00, and I wanted to give her a bath. Now she's all fluffy clean and air drying on a towel in the front room.

Geez. I told myself I would only talk about running/exercise on this blog. Sorry, folks. There’s a reason my ex boyfriend called me Edith.

Week 2, Day 6

Almost done with Week 2! Gad, it was tough this morning. I got another late start, so I was pretty grumpy. It was 49° so I wore my tank top, track pants (workout pants? I don't know what to call them) and a long sleeved tee shirt. I was pretty warm after I got out on the track, so I took the long sleeve off and tossed it on the fence as I passed by.

I saw some birds in the parking lot that I could swear were sandpipers. Could they be this far from the coast? They looked just like them except their beaks were shorter than a sandpiper's would be. This is going to drive me nuts. I'll have to consult my sister. She's bird crazy.

The run started out well, though by the third one, my legs were killing me. By the fourth run I was (yet again) questioning my ability to finish. Toward the end of the fifth run I must've gotten an endorphin rush or something because suddenly I felt like (despite the fire in my calves) I could haul ass. I didn't, though. I kept the pace and concentrated on my form and took delight in the fact that I no longer felt like I might die.

So it ended up being a pretty good run. Go me!

I went to bed in a pretty good mood last night. When I got home from my sister's house, it was full dark out and the moon was huge and bright. I chased Tank around the yard for a few minutes because it felt so good to be out on such a beautiful night. I stretched out on the grass and soaked up some moonbeams. It was like being in a day-for-night scene in an old movie.

Eee! The hummingbirds are fighting over my pansies! I think it's time to clean the feeder and make some more nectar.

Week 2, Day 5

This won't be a huge update; I'm meeting Mom and Corrine at the pool in 15 minutes. I can sum up today's run in two words:

1. Cold
2. Ouch

It was 42° and overcast when I headed out this morning. I wore pants, a tank top and a hoodie. Creepy Binocular Guy was walking the track when I got there. He was wearing a goose down jacket (wimp), but I could still tell it was him. I don't know what happened to him because by the time I got done with my warm up, he was gone. I felt pretty good, so I took my hoodie off and hung it on the fence post.

Mistake.

The wind started up and I got cold again pretty quickly. The next time I came around, I put the hoodie back on. I took it off again by the fifth run. I just can't seem to find a happy medium with these cold mornings. I was running late, so I only had a bite of a power bar for breakfast. Plus, I woke up in a bad mood, so it was a crappy morning all around. I felt a teeny bit stronger today, but the run was still hard, especially the last two stretches. I'm confident that I'll feel pretty good about Week 2 by Saturday. Sunday, I mean. Saturday is the Walk for Farm Animals.

Ok, time's up. See you Thursday!

Week 2, Day 4

I did it! I completed Week 2! I'll be repeating it next week, but I'm confident that it'll get easier. This week was quite a push, kids.

52° this morning. Sunny, wind coming in from the southwest. Beautiful day. I was off to a late start, but I found that I didn't have to drag myself down to the track. Had the place to myself, though one of the church people stole my parking spot. Tuesday there was a cat on the track with me. He/she was more intent on hunting mice or voles in the field, but we spared a brief glance at each other as if to say, "Mornin'. Nice day, isn't it?"

This morning, while I was sitting here scarfing down a Luna Bar, I saw my cat walk across the porch (which the office windows face). I immediately went into panic mode, even though I knew that Freddie was fast asleep in my bedroom. Still, I was staring right at her, sitting on the porch steps. I bolted into my room, convinced Freddie had jumped up onto the sill, busted out the window and made a mad dash for freedom.

As it turns out, she was stretched out on the floor, basking in a nice chunk of sunlight. I went back to the office and looked out the window. Freddie's doppelgänger was still sitting there staring at me. Freaky much?

Anyway. Back to running.

I did pretty darn good today, except that right before the fifth run, I started to have an asthma attack. I'd left my inhalers in the car, so I just pushed through it. So basically, if it had been bad, I probably would have died, and on my tombstone they would have written:

HERE LIES KATIE

TOO LAZY TO WALK BACK TO HER CAR FOR HER PUFFERS

WHAT A BITCH

It really wasn't that bad. I could breathe and everything, and I wasn't wheezing; it just felt like, on the inhale, I couldn't get enough air. I got through the rest of my runs, plus the cool down, the stretch, the drive home and then more stretching, and I'm fine. I hate having asthma. I really, really do.

Today I want to get some tahini so I can make a vegan omelette.

Next Saturday is the Walk for Farm Animals! Some kindly and generous folk have helped me raise $215 so far. If I raise $250, I get a Farm Sanctuary tote bag! I'm such a geek about tote bags. What with running that morning (by then I think I'll be up to Week 3) and walking three to six miles or so later on, I think I'll sleep pretty well that night. Ah. I just realized that registration is at 9 a.m. I think maybe I'll do my run on Sunday instead. That'd be pushing it, time-wise.

In summary: Proud to have finally completed Week 2. Looking forward to doing it again next week. So far, the weather looks pretty agreeable, but you know how unpredictable the elements can be. Fingers crossed!

Runniversary!

I started the Couch to 5k program a month ago today! *clink*

Week 2, Day 3

Better today! It was 43° when I got to the track this morning. 48 by the time I got home. I ran in a hoodie, but by my fourth run, my hands were no longer cold and I was beginning to feel pretty uncomfortable. I felt like the hoodie was weighing me down. So I took it off and tossed it in the grass as I ran by the fence.

Also by the fourth run, I was thinking to myself, How am I ever going to get through two more runs? I seriously didn't think I was going to make it. But once I took the hoodie off, I was suddenly done with run number five and feeling pretty damn good. I think by Saturday it'll be a little bit less hellish. Another three days (maybe six?) of Week 2 should do the trick.

I got up at 7:45, so I finished my run early enough to come home and do my ab workout and stretch before we had to leave for swimming (which should be very soon). Sometime today I will get in my 20 minutes of aerobic. Right now I'm crunched for time.

For breakfast I had half a Luna Bar and some water. I ate the other half after my ab workout. For lunch I'm probably going to make some acorn squash and brown rice. For some reason, I'm craving water chestnuts.

I need to buy some raisins and almonds.

Week 2, Day 2

46° this morning. I threw on my pants and a sweat shirt and headed down to the track. I didn’t get up early enough to go swimming with my mom, but her caretaker had already planned on taking her, so I didn’t have to worry about her missing out. I’m sad I didn’t get to swim, but hey. It’s my own damn fault.

So today was my second day running Week 2 of the Couch to 5k training program. I took a break from working out after Wednesday of last week. I just wasn’t feeling well at all. I’m better now, though still pretty sneezy. My dog is better, too. I gave him Tramadol twice a day and did TTouch on him. Seems to have worked. He’s back to his (ab)normal self.

Anyway. I got down to the track a bit late, which made me mad. I started thinking about everything I have to do, and it overwhelmed me so much I almost turned around and got back in my car. But then I thought, just think about running. That’s all you have to concentrate on right now.

And it worked. I’m not saying I wasn’t dying by the third run, but I did it. And gad, what a push it was. I don’t know how I’m ever going to make it to three minutes straight. BUT! I’m not going to think about that right now. Right now, it’s all about Week 2 and how it’s kicking my ass.

As I mentioned, I didn’t work out for four days last week, and the result was a lot of pain. It was a great reminder of how beneficial exercise is, even when I feel like I’m not getting anywhere. It’s just not worth the pain to slack off, and I honestly never though I would think that way. Ever since I was diagnosed with arthritis, I’ve been getting more and more sedentary. I’m in pain, I don’t want to move around, blah blah blah. What made it worse was doing reception instead of tech work at the animal hospital I used to work at. I went from being on my feet for 11 and a half hours a day, to sitting on my ass all day. And that did not agree with me.

So for four years, my physical condition had been getting worse and worse until I got to a point where I felt like, well, this is it. This is the best I can hope for. Pain and misery and a lifetime of obesity. That all changed seven months ago. Something clicked and I decided I’d had it. I started the Self Challenge and in three months went from this to this.

Then my sister told me about the Couch to 5k program, which we attempted several times. Several months ago, I moved out of my sister’s house and went to live with my disabled mother, who needed some looking after. Lucky for me, there’s an abandoned track behind the church in the small town we live in, and I started using that.

I honestly never thought I’d ever be able to run. I’d been using the elliptical trainer at my sister’s house for about five months and that really, really helped. I was able to build up my endurance but not mess up my arthritic knees.

And here I am now, on Week 2 of the program. I’m definitely going to extend it another week. Ain’t nothin’ wrong with that, either. I’m not in a hurry.

I had the track all to myself this morning. Honestly, I think it was too cold for the locals. And it was only 46°! In Chicago, we break out the lawn furniture when it hits 40°.

It warmed up pretty quickly, so I hung my sweatshirt on the fence post while I was stretching. Worked up a good sweat during the run, and thankfully a small breeze showed up. Came in from the south this time. Nice and cloudy but not overcast (like it is now).

What I really need to focus on now, and I keep saying this, is my eating habits. I’m doing pretty good at only eating when I’m actually hungry, but the food I’m eating isn’t exactly healthy. It’s not bad, but I’m not really getting what I need. I’ve got some acorn squash I’m going to make, but I find I prefer butternut squash. Which amazes me because I never ate squash before, and now I’m realizing which kind I like better. That makes me happy. I don’t want to be a boring food person. I want to experiment.

My mom made me a burrito last night. Sure it had faux meat in it and I dumped some (vegan) sour cream on it, but it still had fresh vegetables in it and the wrap was pretty low cal. Not the worst dinner in the world, plus I had a gigantic salad beforehand.

Oh, and I stopped drinking pop. Every now and then I’ll have a can, but for the most part, I’m done with it. No way in hell I’m giving up the bubble tea, but that’s fine because I don’t have it very often.

For breakfast this morning, I had an orange and a cup of soy milk. Not the best combo, I'm sure, but I had to eat something before I took my ibuprofen. I haven't hand lunch yet, but I'll probably whip up some leftover burrito from last night.

Wow, I can’t shut up today, can I?

Back to the running. Yeah, it was killer. Not too bad, but certainly not easy. I’m looking forward to the day I can do this as easily as I can Week 1.

And another thing, I got my period last week, and not only was it not as heavy as it normally is, but it wasn’t as long. Could running have anything to do with that?

Okay, I need to shut up and get going.