Seriously??

Mom and I went to the local historical museum yesterday, and at one exhibit they had one of those old timey scales. For shits and giggles, I put my camera-laden bag on a bench and stepped onto the scale. Apparently, over the last month and a half, I have lost seven pounds. This brings my total weight loss so far to 25 pounds. Whereas that is a good, healthy chunk of weight gone from my body, I can't help but think of how heavy 25 pounds of anything is to carry around. And I probably have twice that much left to lose. No wonder I've been so miserable! Sad, but incredibly motivating. (Incidentally, I'm only 20 pounds away from my pre-Portland weight from seven years ago. I looked and felt pretty good back then.) I blew off my ab workout yesterday, but when we got home from the museum (and photographing pelicans at the pier), I threw on my workout clothes and got down to business.

Today, Mom and I are going swimming at her cousin's condo, which is about 10 minutes away from here, but not before I get my Heinz pasta sauce and do some weight training. It's really awkward, though. If I could find someplace that sells used exercise equipment (i.e. hand weights), I might buy a pair and bequeath them to my friend before I fly back home in a couple of weeks. I want to progress in my strength training, not stall. Again, I guess I should remember that something is better than nothing.

The Self Challenge starts at the end of next month, and that is going to help immensely. It is the main reason I've lost so much weight over the last two years, so I'm really excited to get going with that again. And funnily enough, you know how I have the goal of running eight miles on August 8th? I recently found out that that is the day the summer Olympics start! I freakin' love the Olympics! So that's a happy coincidence.

My abs are a bit sore today, which is good, though I had no soreness after my strength training on Monday. Bleh. I need real weights! Ok. Time to get going.

Cheers!

Bummmm

Still in Florida. Still not running. I've been here two weeks now and am still waiting for it to feel like I'm on vacation. Waiting is useless. Going out and doing something is what's going to bring the vacation feeling. So Friday I hopped into my mom's car (which I now call the Fauxpala) and drove to Tampa to meet my friend Julie. We've known each other online for about four years now, and I was really excited about meeting her. That's half the reason I flew out here in the first place. We're both photography nerds, so we were looking forward to going out with our cameras.

We ended up going to Lettuce Lake Park. We were really hoping to see some alligators (there's a 12 footer that lives there), but all we found were gator-shaped logs. We did see lots of lizards, ibis, blue herons and ospreys. And a gooberfish. (Star Wars nerds, we are.) Sooooo much fun.

I conquered two fears that day: Driving to strange places by myself and meeting people. I've got awful social anxiety. People (and especially crowds) make me nervous. But meeting Julie was like hanging out with a friend I'd just seen the day before. I was instantly comfortable with her and never felt the slightest twinge of panic or anxiety. We had a great day together, and I can't wait to see her again. What's next? Manatees? Gators? Dinosaur World? Yes, yes and yes.

Oh, I also came home that night with a boxful of Julie's clothes. I'm not a klepto; she offered! I snagged six pairs of pants (including a sweet pair of Budweiser pj bottoms), a cute summer dress, six shirts and a pair of shorts. I can't fit into any of the shirts or the dress, but I fully intend to use them as goal clothes. We were so wrapped up in the day that we forgot she also wanted to give me a vegan cookbook and an old camera of hers that has a broken light meter. Next time!

So that's pretty much what I've been up to. I was sick the first week I was here and this second week I've just been depressed. I miss my sister and my animals. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm having a lot of trouble sleeping. Every now and then I'll have one night where I have difficulty falling asleep, but I haven't been able to fall right to sleep since I got here. I think a lot of it has to do with me not exercising or running. So today I forced myself to work out. My mom's condo is tiny, so I don't have a lot of room. I flailed around the front room for a warm up and then used two 1-lb cans of Heinz (roasted garlic and onion) pasta sauce as weights. I normally use 3-lb weights, but I guess I'll have to make due with what I've got on hand. At least I worked out, right? I'm hoping it'll help me get to sleep tonight.

The weather has been pretty crappy here as well. Seems I brought the weather with me from Oregon. The only good news is that, though it's raining, it's not freezing cold. This week is going to be really nice. Perfect, in fact, for running. I just can't bring myself to put on my shoes and head out the door. I'm not brave enough. I'm convinced I'll get mugged or something.

I briefly toyed with the idea of going to the local Y.W.C.A., but it costs $35 to join and I'm only going to be here three more weeks.

Mehhhh.

I really miss running. I don't know what to do.

I made it!

Just a quick post to say I arrived safely (though a bit stoned --> Ativan) in Florida last night. AND IT'S RAINING HERE! HAHAHAHAHAHAH! It's not a depressing rain, though. I've been busy cleaning up Mom's condo. It hasn't been occupied in over two years, so you can imagine the dust. Cough.

I feel really depressed and out of sorts, but I know it's just my own anxiety trying to bring me down. I'll be better in a couple of days, once Mom and I get everything sorted out. I slept until 3 p.m. (Eastern), which makes me feel like shit, but I think I really needed it; I didn't get a lot of sleep while I was sick, or the night before we left or yesterday on the plane.

So I'm here. I almost forgot to pack my running shoes, can you believe it? OH! And the night before I left, my sister took me to Best Buy so I could buy a charger for my iPod and what did I see in the corner of the parking lot but Roadrunner Sports!!!! I had no idea there was one so close by! Now when I get back (and land a steady job), I can go and get fitted for proper running shoes.

I'll end this by saying flying still scares me, but it is no longer an impossible thing. I feel incredibly proud and empowered that I conquered my fear. If I can get on an airplane for the first time in almost 20 years, what can't I do? My next goal? Approach strangers and take their photograph.

If I had no bad luck, I'd have no luck at all

I'm leaving for Florida in less than 48 hours. I haven't packed yet. Don't even have a suitcase. I am completely unprepared for this trip, mentally. I'm terrified of flying (haven't been on a plane in almost 20 years), and I was hoping to see my therapist once more before I left.

Unfortunately, I've been struck down with the most hideous stomach flu in the world. Tuesday night I went to bed feeling queasy and then woke up every hour or two to vomit. Truthfully, I had it coming out both ends, but I won't dwell on the details.

The worst part of the whole thing was the dehydration. I couldn't keep anything down, and the more got sick, the thirstier I was. Thankfully, my mom was able to get a hold of her doctor yesterday and he wrote her an Rx for Compazine (she was sick, too). Her caregiver was an angel and went to pick it it up for us. I took five of the pills before I was able to stop vomiting. This morning I drank some Gatorade and this afternoon I had about a quarter cup of vegetable broth.

I don't really feel like eating anything, but I'm trying to a little bit to rebuild my strength. Last night I had the most intense craving for Frosted Flakes. What's up with that? Right now I really want a popsicle. Maybe I'll freeze some Gatorade in an ice cube tray.

So that's what's been going on. Tomorrow I need to buy some luggage, do laundry, pack, buy a car charger for my iPod and also a new tape deck adapter thingy. I do plan on running while I'm in Florida. Once I'm completely over this bug, that is.

I felt like I should be more nervous about this Saturday, but then I googled Compazine and read that it "is effective for the short-term treatment of generalized non-psychotic anxiety." I guess it works, then!

Anyway, I'll still be updating from Florida, so wish me a fun flight and good luck and I'll see you soon!

Off to a bad start

I wasn’t feeling well yesterday, so I didn’t run. In fact, I haven’t worked out since I ran this past Saturday. I woke up with a cold this morning. Today is also a year ago that I had to euthanize my dog, Luke.

Luke had a rare illness (for a dog) and required constant care for the last four years of his life. He was special to me in a way I can’t fully express, but he taught me a lot about myself and I loved him more than I can say.

Right now I don’t care about running or working out. It’s a bad way to start out the new year, I know. I just want to go to bed and wake up when January is over with.

Happy New Year!!!

To the three people who read this. Heehee.

I plan to be out on the track in about 12 hours. Bought new headphones yesterday, so now I won't have to worry about them popping out when I run.

All the best to youse guys in 2008.