Becalmed on the swells of the internal sea
And towing behind us a huge birdless silence
The air is a hammer, the waters don't breath
On a day like tomorrow when all things are sacred
I'll lie like a drunk against the sun roasted wall
And the air will not move and all time hangs suspended
Between now and forever until darkness falls
Well, I haven't been running. It's still hard to find the time and motivation. I'm wondering if I shouldn't just give up on it completely. I went to the doctor recently to recheck my blood work, only to find it's even worse than before. This is after eight months of eating right and losing almost 20 pounds, too. I'm also, still, incredibly vitamin D deficient. I walk the dogs every morning after I get home from work, figuring that's a good amount of time to be in the sun and soak up some D naturally, but apparently not. I now have to take a liquid supplement in addition to the tablets, and I have to recheck again in three months. My cholesterol is still high; high enough that my doctor is considering putting me on statins. "I don't want to go the medication route," she told me, so she suggested I take red rice yeast in addition to the Cholestoff I had been taking (very, very sporadically).
My sister, who is a medical transcriptionist, and a friend who works as a pharmacy tech both cautioned me against the red rice yeast. I am taking the Cholestoff regularly, and am also taking garlic supplements, which my friend suggested. I hope this will help.
Exercise is key, and aside from walking and all the running around I do at work, I'm not getting any. Sure, the weight is coming off, but that doesn't mean I'm getting healthier. It just means I can pull all of my jeans off without having to unbutton or unzip them. Two of my co-w0rkers have commented recently on how much weight I've lost; this is really nice to hear, but I need to work on being healthy inside.
I just don't have the energy. I don't know how to find the energy. It's hard trying to get everything done that needs to be done every day, ADD-wise. The amount of energy it takes a "normal" person to get through their entire day is the same amount of energy it takes me to get dressed and put on my shoes before I leave the house. Medication helps (in so many ways, I can't even begin to explain), but my life is still an overwhelming mess. My co-worker is out on maternity leave until the end of the month, and while I enjoy getting the overtime (something the company I work for never allows), the stress of the extra work load is getting to me.
However, a friend just sent me and my sister a book: Organizing Solutions for People with Attention Deficit Disorder, by Susan C. Pinsky. I haven't read through the whole thing yet, but what I have read MAKES SO MUCH SENSE. I have hope that this book will help me get my shit together, at least enough so that I'm at the point where I can focus on myself and running. It's insane how much I loved (and hated) it, and yet I keep denying myself that one pleasure.
Why?
The good news is that I turned a friend on to the Couch-to-5k program. She has attempted it once, so far, on her treadmill. She made it 13 minutes in and then had to quit. Baby steps, people. It's ok if you don't make it all the way through on your first try. She said that she needed to get the pacing down before she tries it again; having to turn the speed up and down really distracted her, plus she's "not a runner," (her words) and it's not as easy to get into as it was for me. Not that it was easy easy, but I ran a lot in high school, so I was no stranger to it.
My sister has a pilates machine and I suggested we move it down to the front room (it's in her room right now). My reasoning is that I don't know all the exercises to do on the machine, so if we put the machine in the front room, I could follow along to some pilates DVDs. Plus, for people with ADD, it's all about having the things you need right out in the open. If it's in a closet, you forget about it or don't have the energy to go and get it. It's all about reducing the steps. So having the machine right there means all I'd have to do is set it down on the floor and pop the DVD into the TV. Viola! Might as well build up my muscles again, in anticipation of running regularly.
I just need to keep thinking about my health. It's something I spend a lot of time ignoring. But I am unhealthy, and that's insane for a vegan. The only explanation I can come up with is that it's genetic. I have to assume because I am adopted and know very little about my birth mother and father's medical histories. I have met my birth mother and grandparents and five aunts and uncle, and I'm pretty sure cancer runs in the family. This alone should scare me into exercising. Shouldn't it? I will have to call V one day and discuss the family's medical history. I need to know after all. I've spent my life writing "N/A" for Family Medical History at the doctors office.
My sister, who is a medical transcriptionist, and a friend who works as a pharmacy tech both cautioned me against the red rice yeast. I am taking the Cholestoff regularly, and am also taking garlic supplements, which my friend suggested. I hope this will help.
Exercise is key, and aside from walking and all the running around I do at work, I'm not getting any. Sure, the weight is coming off, but that doesn't mean I'm getting healthier. It just means I can pull all of my jeans off without having to unbutton or unzip them. Two of my co-w0rkers have commented recently on how much weight I've lost; this is really nice to hear, but I need to work on being healthy inside.
I just don't have the energy. I don't know how to find the energy. It's hard trying to get everything done that needs to be done every day, ADD-wise. The amount of energy it takes a "normal" person to get through their entire day is the same amount of energy it takes me to get dressed and put on my shoes before I leave the house. Medication helps (in so many ways, I can't even begin to explain), but my life is still an overwhelming mess. My co-worker is out on maternity leave until the end of the month, and while I enjoy getting the overtime (something the company I work for never allows), the stress of the extra work load is getting to me.
However, a friend just sent me and my sister a book: Organizing Solutions for People with Attention Deficit Disorder, by Susan C. Pinsky. I haven't read through the whole thing yet, but what I have read MAKES SO MUCH SENSE. I have hope that this book will help me get my shit together, at least enough so that I'm at the point where I can focus on myself and running. It's insane how much I loved (and hated) it, and yet I keep denying myself that one pleasure.
Why?
The good news is that I turned a friend on to the Couch-to-5k program. She has attempted it once, so far, on her treadmill. She made it 13 minutes in and then had to quit. Baby steps, people. It's ok if you don't make it all the way through on your first try. She said that she needed to get the pacing down before she tries it again; having to turn the speed up and down really distracted her, plus she's "not a runner," (her words) and it's not as easy to get into as it was for me. Not that it was easy easy, but I ran a lot in high school, so I was no stranger to it.
My sister has a pilates machine and I suggested we move it down to the front room (it's in her room right now). My reasoning is that I don't know all the exercises to do on the machine, so if we put the machine in the front room, I could follow along to some pilates DVDs. Plus, for people with ADD, it's all about having the things you need right out in the open. If it's in a closet, you forget about it or don't have the energy to go and get it. It's all about reducing the steps. So having the machine right there means all I'd have to do is set it down on the floor and pop the DVD into the TV. Viola! Might as well build up my muscles again, in anticipation of running regularly.
I just need to keep thinking about my health. It's something I spend a lot of time ignoring. But I am unhealthy, and that's insane for a vegan. The only explanation I can come up with is that it's genetic. I have to assume because I am adopted and know very little about my birth mother and father's medical histories. I have met my birth mother and grandparents and five aunts and uncle, and I'm pretty sure cancer runs in the family. This alone should scare me into exercising. Shouldn't it? I will have to call V one day and discuss the family's medical history. I need to know after all. I've spent my life writing "N/A" for Family Medical History at the doctors office.
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2 comments:
Here's to paying more attention to our health.
Hmm. I'm wondering, how much are you actually getting out of your food. Do you cook from scratch? Do you eat whole foods? Or is a lot of your food convenient? I don't know. It just seems that when people have certain issues, it can be linked back to their diet. That along with figuring out your family's medical history should help a lot.
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